The department that turned firing into a growth opportunity.
The shared values, beliefs, and behaviors that characterize how work gets done in a company. It's supposedly defined by leadership's vision statements but actually determined by what behavior gets rewarded and what gets ignored.
Fair Labor Standards Act—the 1938 federal law establishing minimum wage, overtime pay, and child labor standards. It's the reason you get paid extra for working more than 40 hours, assuming your employer classifies you correctly.
A presentation outlining company values, expectations, and working principles, famously popularized by Netflix. It's essentially a manifesto explaining why the company is different and special, though most sound identical.
In HR contexts, the state of emotional and mental disconnection employees experience from their work, colleagues, or organization. It's what happens when people show up physically but checked out mentally months ago, doing the bare minimum while updating their LinkedIn profiles. Companies spend millions trying to measure and reverse it, usually by adding more meetings about engagement.
Corporate revenge served cold, usually in the form of passive-aggressive performance reviews or mysterious project reassignments. The art of professionally getting even without technically breaking any rules. Think of it as workplace karma with a paper trail.
The corporate art of extracting maximum value from resources (read: humans) while providing minimum compensation or recognition. Often disguised with terms like 'opportunity' or 'exposure.' The uncomfortable truth behind many 'entry-level' positions and unpaid internships.
The application of skills and knowledge gained in training to actual job performance, measuring whether that expensive workshop actually changed behavior. It's the difference between completing the course and actually using what you learned back at your desk.
The corporate ritual where your boss assigns numerical values to your humanity, typically determining whether you get a raise or just 'valuable feedback.' It's an assessment that pretends to be objective while being influenced by office politics, recent memory bias, and how well you schmooze. In math, it's simply solving for X; in life, it's solving for your mortgage payment.
An elaborate plan to convince employees they actually want to stay, usually involving ping-pong tables and the promise of 'unlimited PTO' that nobody actually uses.
A corporate death sentence disguised as a helpful document, essentially telling an employee 'we're giving you 90 days to be someone else, or you're fired.'
When employees read honest company reviews on Glassdoor and suddenly realize they're getting paid less for more work than competitors, leading to immediate job searching.
Quantifiable measurements used to evaluate employee or departmental success—basically, the metrics management obsesses over while ignoring everything else.
The non-cash compensation package that companies dangle to make their salary offers look better than they are. These include health insurance (that you mostly pay for), paid time off (that you feel guilty using), and retirement matching (with seventeen pages of vesting schedules). HR describes them enthusiastically while you mentally calculate whether they're worth less than just getting paid more.
A framework defining the skills, knowledge, and behaviors required for success in a role or organization. Usually a 47-page document that nobody reads but HR references during performance reviews.
A vesting schedule where retirement or equity benefits become fully available all at once after a specific period, rather than gradually. You get nothing, nothing, nothing, then suddenly everything.
The practice of contacting a candidate's previous employers or colleagues to verify their claims and uncover potential red flags. Essentially calling their exes to ask if they were really as great as they claim.
A development practice where employees temporarily move between different roles or departments to build broader skills and understanding. Cross-training disguised as career development.
When managers refuse to let high-performing employees transfer to other departments or pursue internal opportunities, prioritizing their own team's success over organizational needs. It's kidnapping, but make it corporate.
The practice of expanding an employee's role to include more tasks at the same level of responsibility. It's giving someone more work without calling it a promotion or raising their pay.
The corporate buzzword that HR departments and marketing teams wield like a magical incantation to prove they're inclusive. While it technically just means 'consisting of different elements,' it's become so overused in mission statements and job postings that it's practically lost all meaning. Bonus points if you can fit it into a sentence with 'dynamic' and 'synergy.'
A formal document explaining why your company pays what it does, usually involving phrases like 'market competitive' that somehow justify paying 10% below actual market rates. It's a philosophical treatise on why you deserve less money than you think.
A talent assessment tool that plots employees on performance versus potential, creating nine categories from 'star' to 'why are they still here?' It's how companies decide who gets promoted and who gets managed out, all on a tidy 3x3 grid.
An HR metric attempting to quantify how good new employees are, as if human value can be reduced to a number. It's typically calculated long after hiring decisions haunt you.
The nerve-wracking performance audition where hopefuls prove their worth while secretly wondering if their backup plan is still viable. Originally from sports and theater, it's that special moment when judgment is rendered before you've even shown what you can really do. The corporate world borrowed this concept and rebranded it as 'probationary period' to make it sound less brutal.