The department that turned firing into a growth opportunity.
The power to tell people what to do and actually have them listen—the holy grail of leadership. Also: a direct order that questions are not welcome to ask about.
The process of bringing an international expatriate employee back to their home country office. Often involves culture shock in reverse.
Measurable metrics that track employee or company performance. They're how HR translates 'are you doing your job?' into data.
A service provided to laid-off employees to help find new jobs, often described as generous while amounting to mostly LinkedIn profile coaching.
When another company hires your good employees away. Considered unethical unless your company does it.
What happens when your job description outlives your usefulness—you become the corporate equivalent of a deleted scene. In HR speak, this means getting let go because the company decided it doesn't need your role anymore, or simply being excessively repetitive.
Equity compensation that vests over time, converting hypothetical wealth into actual shares on a schedule designed to retain talent who can't afford to leave.
Society for Human Resource Management—the professional organization that sets standards for HR and makes sure everyone knows the acronym.
Anonymous employee testimonies about company culture, used by HR to understand why they can't hire anyone. They rarely like what they find.
The HR function responsible for managing the relationship between employer and employees, or as employees call it, the complaint department.
An employee who can do multiple things adequately, borrowed from tech terminology. Essentially, your one-person army before you hire a proper team.
Performance-based pay intended to motivate employees. Studies show it actually causes anxiety and internal competition instead.
A glorious pause in work where you briefly escape your desk, inbox, or responsibilities—or a physical rupture in something, depending on whether you're refreshed or clumsy.
An employee management has decided will be the next leader, often based on charisma rather than actual competence.
A defined-contribution retirement savings plan sponsored by employers in the U.S., named after the IRS tax code section. The primary vehicle Americans use to pretend they're saving adequately for retirement while knowing they aren't.
A state of dissatisfaction that drives change; the opposite of complacency. When people are discontented, they're motivated to demand better conditions, though management usually wishes they'd just keep quiet.
An informal HR approach to quickly checking in with someone or tapping them for information or work.
Management's desperate attempt to get remote workers back to the office for 'collaboration' and 'culture.'
A website where employees anonymously trash-talk their employers and ruin the company's reputation before HR can intervene.
The period when an employee is fully paid but has no assigned project, secretly the best part of consulting life.
A scheduling arrangement where employees can choose their hours, provided they arrive at 8am, attend 10am meetings, and stay until the work is done at 7pm.
Scientific evaluation using tests to measure personality, intelligence, or job fit; supposedly objective but often validates whatever bias you already had.
A goal-setting framework where employees set ambitious targets they'll miss by 30% and pretend it's motivational.
A corporate initiative to improve workplace representation while maintaining that the hiring pool was 'just not diverse enough.'