The department that turned firing into a growth opportunity.
A term stolen from telecommunications to describe how busy you are, because saying "I don't want to do that" requires emotional vulnerability. The human version of a loading bar stuck at 99 percent.
The collection of non-salary perks a company offers to make you forget that the salary itself is underwhelming. It typically includes health insurance you can't afford to use, a 401k match that vests in 2047, and free coffee that tastes like regret.
The speed at which a startup spends its investors' money, measured in dollars per month and panic attacks per quarter. It's called burn rate because watching your cash evaporate feels exactly like watching something on fire.
Someone who quits dramatically, realizes the grass was just astroturf on the other side, and comes crawling back pretending the whole thing was a growth experience. Companies love them because re-hiring is cheaper than admitting the job posting was up for eight months.
A legally permissible reason to discriminate in hiring based on characteristics like age, sex, or religion because they're essential to the job. Abbreviated as BFOQ, the rare loophole in anti-discrimination law.
The depth of talent available within an organization to fill key positions when current leaders depart. Think of it as your company's farm team, except everyone already knows where the bathrooms are.
A compensation strategy that consolidates multiple narrow pay grades into fewer, wider salary ranges. Gives companies more flexibility to pay people whatever they want while claiming they follow a structure.
A competitive presentation process where multiple candidates or vendors pitch their ideas or services to decision-makers simultaneously. Think of it as corporate Hunger Games, but with PowerPoint instead of weapons.
A staffing agency that provides temporary workers with minimal screening or quality control, treating employees as interchangeable units rather than individuals. The Walmart of human resources, if you will.
Grouping similar jobs into broad pay grades rather than individual job-specific ranges. It reduces administrative complexity while somehow making salary decisions even more arbitrary.
The formal or informal process of haggling over terms, most famously practiced between unions and management in what's delightfully called 'collective bargaining.' It's the workplace equivalent of a medieval negotiation, except instead of horses and land, you're fighting over dental coverage and whether casual Friday should include shorts. Success is measured by how much each side can claim victory while secretly knowing they compromised on everything.
An interview technique asking candidates to describe specific past situations rather than hypotheticals, based on the radical theory that past behavior predicts future performance. Questions always start with 'Tell me about a time when...'
Replacing an employee who has left or been promoted by hiring someone into their former position. The eternal corporate cycle where someone's promotion creates a domino effect of musical chairs.
The non-cash compensation package that companies dangle to make their salary offers look better than they are. These include health insurance (that you mostly pay for), paid time off (that you feel guilty using), and retirement matching (with seventeen pages of vesting schedules). HR describes them enthusiastically while you mentally calculate whether they're worth less than just getting paid more.
Recruiting practices that remove identifying information from applications to reduce unconscious bias, like names, photos, or school names. Trying to trick hiring managers into being objective.
The compensation beyond salary that companies dangle to make mediocre pay packages seem attractive—think health insurance, 401(k) matching, and 'unlimited PTO' you're guilted into not using. In insurance-speak, it's the actual payout you receive after jumping through bureaucratic hoops. These perks are allegedly worth thousands, though somehow never translate to actual cash in your pocket.
Losing your best employees at an alarming rate, usually because of terrible management or culture. It's a brain drain but make it workplace trauma.