The department that turned firing into a growth opportunity.
A company's ability to adapt quickly to change; loudly proclaimed in mission statements while organizational structures remain ossified.
Compensatory time off in lieu of overtime pay; a way for companies to avoid paying while pretending to care about balance.
What a company claims to offer employees beyond salary, usually something vague like 'meaningful work' or 'growth opportunities.'
When companies fire or force out unwanted employees instead of them voluntarily leaving; basically managed involuntary departure.
An informal HR approach to quickly checking in with someone or tapping them for information or work.
A defined-contribution retirement savings plan sponsored by employers in the U.S., named after the IRS tax code section. The primary vehicle Americans use to pretend they're saving adequately for retirement while knowing they aren't.
The practice of openly sharing salary ranges, pay equity data, and compensation structures with employees and job candidates. The trend that makes HR departments simultaneously proud and terrified.
The strategic approach to attracting, developing, retaining, and deploying human capital. Sounds data-driven and impressive; usually means 'we hope our good people don't leave.'
The art of keeping various groups happy—executives, employees, regulators, and lawyers—usually by disappointing everyone equally.
A goal-setting framework where employees set ambitious targets they'll miss by 30% and pretend it's motivational.
An employee management has decided will be the next leader, often based on charisma rather than actual competence.
The software that filters job applications using algorithms, responsible for 75% of qualified candidates never being seen by human eyes.
The formal act of cutting ties—whether that's employment, a business relationship, or negotiations. It's the corporate way of saying 'we're done here' with legal documentation and usually an awkward conversation.
The period when an employee is fully paid but has no assigned project, secretly the best part of consulting life.
Corporate euphemism for layoffs, distinguished by its clinical efficiency and HR's sincere belief that a better acronym makes job loss less traumatic.
The departure of high-performing, valuable employees—the type of turnover that actually hurts the organization. The kind of exit that makes managers say things like 'But we're the good guys!'
A visual representation of how many employees from a cohort remain with the company over time, typically plotted by hire date or tenure. The downward trajectory that makes CFOs weep.
A third-party organization that legally employs staff on behalf of another company, handling payroll, benefits, and compliance. When you want employees but don't want the legal responsibility of actually employing them.
A meeting where managers gather to debate whether their employees are actually 'proficient' or just seem competent compared to others, achieving nothing conclusive.
A shortage of employees with skills essential to organizational survival or competitive advantage, requiring urgent action. When you realize your entire roadmap depends on a skill set exactly two people on Earth have.
The utopian HR state where employees actually care about their work instead of just showing up for a paycheck and mentally checking out. It's measured through surveys nobody reads and results that somehow always conclude you need more team-building activities.
The company's noble belief that employees will move between departments, cities, and roles for development, assuming they don't have families.
A comprehensive approach to employee compensation integrating base salary, bonuses, benefits, equity, wellness programs, and non-monetary rewards. HR's way of saying 'we're paying you less than you're worth, but look at all this other stuff!'
The framework determining how and how much employees are paid, including base salary, bonuses, commissions, and equity. The secret formula you'll never fully understand because HR refuses to make salary bands public.