Disrupting disruption with disruptive disruptions since 2010.
A protective mechanism for investors that actually dilutes founders more if the company gets a down round; the cruel irony of startup investing.
To speed something up faster than its natural pace—the startup equivalent of hitting the gas pedal on your growth metrics. Often used by VCs who want their portfolio companies to move at warp speed regardless of whether the infrastructure can handle it.
The price per share at which employees can exercise their stock options. Set artificially low so they can actually afford to buy their equity on the off chance it's worth something.
A limit on how much an investor's ownership can be diluted by future funding rounds. Basically the investor saying 'screw everyone who comes after me.'
A Stripe-era instrument designed to be even simpler than convertible notes—basically a promise to give equity someday, maybe.
The accumulating list of failed startups and failed startup founders—a real place we're all slowly joining.
The amount of predictable revenue a SaaS company makes yearly—the metric that determines whether you're 'growth' or 'dead.'
How much you spend to gain one customer—a depressing metric that determines whether your unit economics work at all.
The total revenue opportunity for your market—a number your pitch deck inflates by roughly 500%.
A business and startup jargon term describing an exit strategy or way to gracefully exit a situation, deal, or initiative. Think of it as the metaphorical highway exit when the original plan isn't working out.
The total revenue you expect from one customer during their entire relationship with your company—usually wildly overestimated.
The second institutional round where your company proves Series A wasn't a fluke—investors pony up $15M-$50M hoping you've figured out unit economics.
The portion of TAM you can actually reach with your sales and marketing strategy—much smaller than TAM but still wildly optimistic.
When a highly-valued startup implodes through mismanagement, fraud, or 'the market wasn't ready'—basically Elizabeth Holmes energy.
An independent appraisal of your private company's value for tax purposes—made by third parties specifically so the IRS can't argue your strike price was fraudulently low.
A person who owns money and loves owning more money, preferably through means that maximize wealth accumulation. The ideological cheerleader for markets and minimal regulation.
A competitive advantage based on how easily you can reach customers. Spoiler alert: most startups don't have one and never will.
Special shares that get priority in liquidation, dividends, or control—essentially investor insurance against founder incompetence.
The realistic revenue you can capture in the next 5-10 years—the number that makes your board members slightly less nervous than TAM.
Large corporations that businesses try to sell to—known for 9-month sales cycles, multiple stakeholder sign-offs, and IT departments that say 'we'll think about it' for years.
The messy dissolution of a relationship (romantic or business) where two things that were stuck together decide they'd rather never see each other again. Bonus awkwardness if they share a friend group.
To board a vessel or aircraft, or more metaphorically, to start something new and vaguely terrifying. Whether it's a cruise ship or a startup, embarking means you've committed and there's no backing out now.
How much money your subscription business expects to make monthly from existing customers. The metric that makes founders feel slightly less broke.
When a company buys another startup not for its product, but primarily for its team. The startup equivalent of a zombie becoming useful.