Disrupting disruption with disruptive disruptions since 2010.
The process of pitching your deck to many investors in sequence, iterating based on feedback. Like a miserable version of speed dating.
A spreadsheet showing who owns what percentage of your company, updated regularly as you dilute yourself with more funding rounds.
Financial projections showing what a company's metrics would look like under hypothetical conditions or future scenarios. Latin for 'as a matter of form,' startup-ese for 'this is the fantasy we're selling investors.'
Contractual provisions granting investors access to a startup's financial statements, board minutes, and other operational data. Essentially, the legal right to know how badly founders are spending their money.
A fledgling company designed for rapid growth and scale, typically fueled by venture capital, caffeine, and the unwavering belief that this time will be different. These entrepreneurial ventures aim to disrupt industries, change the world, and achieve unicorn status—though most will pivot three times and run out of runway first. It's where innovation meets delusion in the most optimistic way possible.
The soul-crushing moment when a founder's ownership percentage shrinks because the company issued more shares to new investors. It's weaker coffee, but for equity—you still own shares, they're just worth relatively less of the pie. Every funding round brings this special joy, where you simultaneously celebrate getting money and mourn losing control.
A funding event that technically keeps a struggling startup alive but doesn't provide enough capital or momentum to actually succeed. Life support masquerading as investment.
Fake stock that feels like ownership but isn't, giving employees the illusion of having skin in the game without actual legal rights. It's participation trophy capitalism.
A provision preventing startups from soliciting other offers while negotiating terms, ensuring you can't play investors against each other. The dating equivalent of 'we're exclusive now' after one coffee.
The phase between seed funding and Series A where many startups run out of money and crash; basically startup purgatory.
A theoretical timeline for when a company will stop losing money and become self-sustaining; usually a fictional document written for investors.
A professional investor who manages large funds and makes risky bets on startups—essentially a gambler with better PR.
The portion of TAM you can actually reach with your sales and marketing strategy—much smaller than TAM but still wildly optimistic.
A venture fund structure where capital commitments are made quarterly rather than in one large closing, allowing GPs to start investing immediately. The subscription model comes to venture capital.
The speed at which a VC fund invests its committed capital. Deploy too fast and you look desperate; too slow and your LPs wonder if you can actually find deals.
A marketplace where shareholders can sell their existing equity to other investors, providing liquidity before an IPO or acquisition. It's the emergency exit when waiting for an actual exit feels like waiting for Godot.
The early-internet ideology that all digital content and services should be freely available to everyone, or at least subsidized by someone else willing to foot the bill. A utopian dream that helped kill the dot-com bubble.
The startup founder's obsession—that magical unicorn metric combining customer benefit, market size, and the ability to eventually turn a profit (someday, maybe). Investors worship at this altar; users actually experience it.
The right to maintain one's ownership percentage in subsequent funding rounds by investing additional capital proportionally. The 'I called dibs' clause of venture capital.
A go-to-market strategy where the product itself drives customer acquisition, retention, and expansion rather than traditional sales teams. Users fall in love before ever talking to a salesperson.
A strategy where investors make many small bets, then heavily support only the winners in subsequent rounds. The venture capital version of throwing spaghetti at the wall, then only cooking the pieces that stuck.
Rights allowing majority shareholders to force minority shareholders to join in selling the company. Corporate democracy's escape hatch, where your vote doesn't matter if enough people with more shares decide differently.
A proactive sales approach where the company reaches out to potential customers rather than waiting for inbound interest. It's the difference between fishing with a net and hoping fish jump into your boat.
The magical moment when your paper wealth becomes actual money you can spend—typically through an acquisition or IPO. It's what everyone's working toward but few actually experience.