Disrupting disruption with disruptive disruptions since 2010.
The minimum return a VC fund must achieve before partners can collect carried interest—usually 8% annually. The bar LPs set to ensure their capital at least beats a boring index fund before the GP gets rich.
A venture fund structure where capital commitments are made quarterly rather than in one large closing, allowing GPs to start investing immediately. The subscription model comes to venture capital.
The speed at which a startup moves from inception to market dominance within its category. The term is sometimes used when discussing execution speed and competitive moats simultaneously.
Investment structured to release capital in tranches as the company hits specific targets, giving investors control and founders ulcers. Trust, but verify, but mostly don't trust.
A fledgling company designed for rapid growth and scale, typically fueled by venture capital, caffeine, and the unwavering belief that this time will be different. These entrepreneurial ventures aim to disrupt industries, change the world, and achieve unicorn status—though most will pivot three times and run out of runway first. It's where innovation meets delusion in the most optimistic way possible.
In startup land, the glorious moment when founders and investors finally cash out, either through acquisition or IPO, turning years of ramen dinners and sleepless nights into actual money. It's the entrepreneurial equivalent of winning the lottery, except you had to build the lottery first. Every VC's favorite word and every founder's obsession after their Series A.
The soul-crushing moment when a founder's ownership percentage shrinks because the company issued more shares to new investors. It's weaker coffee, but for equity—you still own shares, they're just worth relatively less of the pie. Every funding round brings this special joy, where you simultaneously celebrate getting money and mourn losing control.
The most stripped-down version of your product that customers will actually use without demanding a refund—or at least that's the theory. In practice, it's whatever you can ship before running out of money.
Restructuring that gives early investors and employees liquidity without selling the company, like a pressure release valve for cap table tension. An exit without the exit.
The art of watering down your ownership stake in a company, usually because someone with deeper pockets decided your equity pie needs more slices. In the startup world, this happens when new investors come aboard and everyone's percentage shrinks faster than your enthusiasm during Series D. It's not personal, it's just cap table mathematics.
An internal document where VCs justify their investment thesis to partners, typically written with supreme confidence that will be mocked at the next downturn. The receipts for future 'I told you so' moments.
A proactive sales approach where the company reaches out to potential customers rather than waiting for inbound interest. It's the difference between fishing with a net and hoping fish jump into your boat.
The extended period after initial startup excitement fades when growth stalls and reality sets in, but you're too committed to quit. It's the emotional valley between 'we're going to change the world' and 'maybe we should get real jobs.'
The startup founder's obsession—that magical unicorn metric combining customer benefit, market size, and the ability to eventually turn a profit (someday, maybe). Investors worship at this altar; users actually experience it.
Financial projections showing what a company's metrics would look like under hypothetical conditions or future scenarios. Latin for 'as a matter of form,' startup-ese for 'this is the fantasy we're selling investors.'
The noble art of convincing individuals, corporations, and foundations to part with their money for your cause, institution, or startup dream. In education, it's what keeps universities building new buildings with donors' names on them. In nonprofits and startups, it's a full-time job disguised as networking events and carefully crafted pitch decks.
A timeline of planned features that will be delivered late, if at all—your product team's creative fiction exercise. It exists primarily to give the sales team something to promise prospects that engineering will later disappoint.
Optimistic individuals who voluntarily choose unemployment with extra steps, convincing themselves that working 80 hours a week for no salary is better than working 40 hours for someone else. They're essentially professional risk-takers who transform caffeine and delusion into businesses, with a success rate that would make a Vegas gambler nervous. Society celebrates them when they succeed and conveniently forgets them when they fail.
A limit on how much an investor's ownership can be diluted by future funding rounds. Basically the investor saying 'screw everyone who comes after me.'
The annual fee (typically 2% of committed capital) that VC fund managers charge to keep the lights on, whether or not they make good investments. The guaranteed money that pays for offices, salaries, and kombucha before carried interest kicks in.
The speed at which a VC fund invests its committed capital. Deploy too fast and you look desperate; too slow and your LPs wonder if you can actually find deals.
A corporate action where shareholders finally get to convert their paper wealth into actual money—or discover their shares are worthless after preferences. It's payday or apocalypse, with no middle ground.
A protective mechanism for investors that actually dilutes founders more if the company gets a down round; the cruel irony of startup investing.
Net Promoter Score—a survey asking customers how likely they are to recommend you (0-10). Mostly used to confirm whatever founders already believe about customer satisfaction.