Disrupting disruption with disruptive disruptions since 2010.
A methodology for building companies by testing hypotheses quickly and cheaply, based on a book that every founder has read and none have followed. It's called lean because by the time you're done pivoting, your bank account is extremely thin.
A clause ensuring investors get their money back first when the company sells or dies—like having a reserved lifeboat while founders and employees fight over pool floaties. Can be 1x (reasonable) or 3x (predatory).
The VC firm that sets the terms and does the heavy lifting in a funding round, while other investors gratefully follow along. Someone has to negotiate while everyone else free-rides.
A mechanical advantage device that pivots on a fulcrum to multiply force, or in startup parlance, anything you can use to do more with less. Every MBA in Silicon Valley thinks they've found a "lever" to pull, usually right before asking for $5M in seed funding. Physics teachers hate how loosely VCs use this term, but hey, at least someone's paying attention to simple machines.
When a startup prioritizes acquiring recognizable brand-name customers purely for credibility, even if those deals are unprofitable or unsustainable. It's the corporate equivalent of name-dropping at parties.
Lifetime Value—the total revenue a customer generates before churning, which you compare against acquisition cost to pretend your business makes sense. Usually wildly optimistic because it assumes customers stick around forever.
A profitable company designed to generate comfortable income for its founders rather than pursue hypergrowth and venture returns. The entrepreneurial equivalent of choosing happiness over glory.
Aggressively pursuing market share and user growth at the expense of profitability or unit economics, betting that dominance now will create a moat later. It's monopoly thinking fueled by venture capital.
The percentage of a VC fund's investments that return zero, typically 50-70% despite everyone's confident pitches. The number partners don't mention at LP meetings unless forced.
The moment when something new is officially unleashed upon the world, whether it's a product, company, or ship sliding into water. In business and tech, launches involve coordinated marketing campaigns, press releases, and the collective hope that people will actually care. It's the corporate equivalent of a grand opening, complete with champagne (or energy drinks, depending on the industry).
A corporate action where shareholders finally get to convert their paper wealth into actual money—or discover their shares are worthless after preferences. It's payday or apocalypse, with no middle ground.
A contractual restriction preventing insiders from selling shares after an IPO, typically 90-180 days. Because letting founders dump all their stock on day one would be honest but catastrophic for stock price.
In startup parlance, the euphemistic term for when your product actually reaches real users—or crashes spectacularly trying. The moment of truth between hype and reality.
The actual money behind venture capital—pension funds, endowments, and rich people who give VCs money to invest and hope they know what they're doing. They're 'limited' because they can't tell the GP how to do their job.
The magical moment when your paper wealth becomes actual money you can spend—typically through an acquisition or IPO. It's what everyone's working toward but few actually experience.
Limited Partner, the institutional investors and wealthy individuals who provide capital to VC funds, essentially the VCs' VCs. They're the puppetmasters who rarely appear but whose capital enables the whole show.
The total revenue you expect from one customer during their entire relationship with your company—usually wildly overestimated.
Institutions or individuals who invest capital into VC funds. The people whose retirement money is being gambled on whether your app will work.
The total profit a customer generates for your company over their entire relationship—essentially predicting whether they'll be worth the investment to acquire.