Disrupting disruption with disruptive disruptions since 2010.
A funding round where the company valuation is explicitly set and shares are sold at a specific price per share, unlike convertible instruments that defer pricing. It's the grown-up version of fundraising, with actual valuations and everything.
The messy dissolution of a startup partnership, romantic relationship, or team dynamic—often marked by awkward equity discussions, passive-aggressive Slack messages, and lawyers getting involved.
The phase between seed funding and Series A where many startups run out of money and crash; basically startup purgatory.
A theoretical timeline for when a company will stop losing money and become self-sustaining; usually a fictional document written for investors.
Monthly Recurring Revenue—the predictable revenue generated each month from subscription customers, the metric that makes investors weep with joy.
A business and startup jargon term describing an exit strategy or way to gracefully exit a situation, deal, or initiative. Think of it as the metaphorical highway exit when the original plan isn't working out.
A funding round with so many small investors that the cap table looks like a nightclub guest list—lots of names, minimal commitment from anyone. Usually signals either a hot deal everyone wants a piece of, or a desperate founder who couldn't land a lead investor.
The internal practice at VC firms of writing detailed investment memos that analyze potential deals. Where partners commit their hottest takes to writing so they can be mocked later when wrong.
A VC's strong belief in an investment thesis despite contrary evidence or market skepticism. The confidence to write a check when everyone else thinks you're insane—sometimes brilliance, often delusion.
The exhaustion investors feel after reviewing hundreds of pitch decks that all blur together with the same buzzwords and hockey stick projections. It's why your 'revolutionary AI blockchain solution' makes their eyes glaze over.
A funding round that attracts investors primarily because a prestigious VC or strategic investor has already committed, rather than on the company's standalone merits. One famous name creates a stampede of followers.
Moving to build or sell products at a lower layer of the technology infrastructure, typically where margins are thinner but the market is larger. Often happens when companies realize their original niche is too small.
Preferred stock that must choose between taking its liquidation preference OR converting to common and sharing the remaining proceeds—can't do both. The slightly-less-greedy version of investor terms.
Provisions allowing minority shareholders to join a sale if majority shareholders exit—the friendlier sibling of drag-along rights. It's protection ensuring you can't get abandoned while insiders cash out.
A funding event that technically keeps a struggling startup alive but doesn't provide enough capital or momentum to actually succeed. Life support masquerading as investment.
Additional capital raised on the same terms as the previous round (like a Series A-1) rather than progressing to the next stage, buying time without the stigma of a flat or down round. The startup equivalent of taking an incomplete rather than failing the course.
The delicate art of figuring out how to extract money from something that users currently enjoy for free, typically resulting in a barrage of ads, paywalls, or premium subscriptions. This verb represents the moment when platforms transition from "community-building" to "shareholder-pleasing," often coinciding with users complaining that everything good gets ruined. Monetization strategies range from subtle to obnoxious, but they all share the goal of turning engagement into revenue.
A provision preventing startups from soliciting other offers while negotiating terms, ensuring you can't play investors against each other. The dating equivalent of 'we're exclusive now' after one coffee.
A marketplace where shareholders can sell their existing equity to other investors, providing liquidity before an IPO or acquisition. It's the emergency exit when waiting for an actual exit feels like waiting for Godot.
The intentional or unintentional obscuring of lines—whether between work and life, industries converging, or ethical boundaries getting fuzzy in your data practices.
To forcefully resurrect a dead project, company, or relationship using emergency measures and borrowed energy. Like CPR but for your failing startup's momentum.
A spreadsheet showing who owns what percentage of your company, updated regularly as you dilute yourself with more funding rounds.
Proof that actual humans are willing to pay actual money for your product, the ultimate validation for the venture capital community.
The attempt to prove you weren't just lucky with Series A and that your unit economics actually work at scale.