Disrupting disruption with disruptive disruptions since 2010.
The startup mantra that romanticizes abandoning your original business plan when it becomes clear nobody wants what you're building. It's plan B through Z, pitched as strategic thinking rather than desperate flailing.
A funding round at a lower valuation than the previous round, signaling either terrible execution or terrible timing. Triggers anti-dilution provisions and existential crises among founders.
The extended period after initial startup excitement fades when growth stalls and reality sets in, but you're too committed to quit. It's the emotional valley between 'we're going to change the world' and 'maybe we should get real jobs.'
A system where VCs give small pools of capital to well-connected individuals to make investments on the firm's behalf. A brilliant way to outsource deal flow while paying in equity instead of salary.
Speeding up the vesting schedule of stock options, typically triggered by acquisition or termination. It's the consolation prize when your startup gets acquired and you're suddenly unemployed.
The time required for an investment fund to return its original capital to LPs through exits and distributions. It's the VC equivalent of asking 'when do I get my money back?'
A minimum funding round size (typically $1-2 million) that triggers the automatic conversion of SAFEs or convertible notes into equity. It's the threshold that separates real funding rounds from friends-and-family pocket change.
The actual money behind venture capital—pension funds, endowments, and rich people who give VCs money to invest and hope they know what they're doing. They're 'limited' because they can't tell the GP how to do their job.
The process of taking an idea, product, or technology and transforming it into something that actually makes money, because apparently innovation for its own sake doesn't pay the bills. It's the startup world's coming-of-age ceremony, where brilliant concepts either become profitable products or expensive lessons. Essentially, it's the bridge between "we built something cool" and "people are actually buying it."
A contractual mechanism that shields early investors from dilution when a startup raises money at a lower valuation than previous rounds. It's basically insurance against your company becoming less cool than you thought it was.
A marketing term VCs use to describe their approach, supposedly indicating fair terms and supportive behavior. In practice, it often means 'we won't screw you quite as hard as the other guys.'
A VC's strong belief in an investment thesis despite contrary evidence or market skepticism. The confidence to write a check when everyone else thinks you're insane—sometimes brilliance, often delusion.
A fundraising approach where a startup accepts investor commitments and transfers shares on multiple dates instead of a single closing. It's like a progressive dinner party for term sheets.
Investors who prey on distressed startups, offering unfavorable terms when founders are desperate. They prefer the smell of burning runway in the morning.
An operating style where founders maintain deep involvement in company details rather than delegating everything to managers. Popularized by Paul Graham as a counterpoint to conventional management wisdom that says CEOs should stay hands-off.
The percentage of transaction value a platform extracts as revenue, revealing how much you're actually taxing your users for the privilege of using your service. Too high and users revolt; too low and investors revolt.
A venture fund that's technically alive but has stopped making new investments, usually because performance is so bad that raising a follow-on fund is impossible. It shambles along, managing existing investments until the limited partnership agreement expires.
A startup that aims to be both profitable AND socially responsible, as opposed to unicorns that prioritize growth at any cost. They're real, sustainable, and less likely to leave a trail of layoffs and burned capital.
Someone who receives equity for occasionally responding to emails and allowing you to use their name on your website. The advisor-to-impact ratio is the lowest in all of business, yet every startup has seven of them.
When a startup 'grows up' from an accelerator program or moves from seed to institutional funding, like leaving college but with more awkward Demo Days. Implies you're now playing with the big kids.
The return of capital to limited partners when a fund exits an investment, either as cash or occasionally as stock, representing the magical moment when paper gains become real money. The VC equivalent of actually getting your lottery winnings instead of just holding a ticket.
A venture capital firm that's functionally dead but still managing old funds, unable to raise new capital but too undead to fully shut down. They're not investing in new companies but still collecting management fees from their limited partners.
The additional value investors pay for governance rights and control provisions beyond pure economics, willing to pay higher prices for board seats and veto powers. The surcharge for not trusting founders to run the company they founded.
An internal document where VCs justify their investment thesis to partners, typically written with supreme confidence that will be mocked at the next downturn. The receipts for future 'I told you so' moments.