Disrupting disruption with disruptive disruptions since 2010.
A company culture claiming to make decisions based on data analysis rather than gut feeling, though which metrics get measured mysteriously align with what leadership already wanted to do. It's astrology for MBAs.
A glamorized term for someone who decided that working for themselves would be less stressful than having a boss (spoiler: they were wrong). These brave or foolish souls start their own ventures, risking everything from savings to sanity in pursuit of the dream of being their own boss and working only 80 hours a week instead of 40. Every LinkedIn bio now includes this word because 'unemployed but optimistic' doesn't have the same ring to it.
The time required for an investment fund to return its original capital to LPs through exits and distributions. It's the VC equivalent of asking 'when do I get my money back?'
In startup parlance, the euphemistic term for when your product actually reaches real users—or crashes spectacularly trying. The moment of truth between hype and reality.
The accumulating list of failed startups and failed startup founders—a real place we're all slowly joining.
A punitive clause forcing existing investors to participate in future rounds or lose their special privileges—the venture capital equivalent of 'put up or shut up.' Popular after market downturns when companies need to separate real believers from fair-weather friends.
Vesting acceleration that requires two events—typically an acquisition plus termination—before unvested shares become immediately vested. Single trigger's more reasonable younger sibling.
Aggressively pursuing market share and user growth at the expense of profitability or unit economics, betting that dominance now will create a moat later. It's monopoly thinking fueled by venture capital.
Emergency financing raised by a struggling startup at unfavorable terms just to avoid immediate shutdown. It's the fundraising equivalent of pulling the ripcord on a failing skydive.
Venture funds started by former Tiger Global partners or investors, inheriting their aggressive growth-at-all-costs investment philosophy. They're the offspring that learned well from their parent's playbook.
The corporate buzzword for 'doing something new' that appears in every mission statement and keynote presentation. To innovate is to revolutionize or introduce novelty, though in practice it often means adding an app to something that worked fine without one. Companies that claim to innovate daily are usually just iterating on someone else's idea with a slightly different shade of blue.
A term in VC fund agreements where once LPs get their initial investment back, GPs get an accelerated share of profits until their normal split is reached. Basically letting the manager 'catch up' to their 20% after paying back investors.
The person you start a company with based on four hours of friendship and mutual delusion, who will become either your closest ally or your most expensive breakup. Dating is easier than finding a compatible co-founder.
The theoretical benefit of being first to market, used to justify rushing out half-baked products. History suggests fast-follower advantage is more valuable, but that doesn't sound as impressive in pitch decks.
The percentage discount early investors get when their notes convert to equity, rewarding them for investing before a priced round. It's the early bird special of startup investing, typically 15-25%.
The startup world's polite euphemism for cashing out and abandoning ship, ideally with a massive payday that makes all those 80-hour weeks seem worthwhile. Can range from a glorious IPO or acquisition to quietly shutting down operations while pretending you 'pivoted to consulting.' It's the entrepreneurial equivalent of checking out of a hotel, except you're either leaving with millions or owing money to everyone you know.
In startup land, the terrifying gap between early adopters who'll buy anything shiny and the mainstream market that actually expects your product to work. Coined by Geoffrey Moore, this metaphorical canyon is where many promising startups go to die, usually because they assumed soccer moms would be as forgiving as tech bros. It's the entrepreneurial equivalent of realizing your mom's friends won't think your jokes are as funny as your college roommates did.
A professional investor who manages large funds and makes risky bets on startups—essentially a gambler with better PR.
A Silicon Valley term for marketing on a budget, dressed up to sound like you're breaking into a mainframe. In practice, it usually means spamming people on LinkedIn and calling it a strategy.
A contractual provision that lets majority shareholders force minority investors to join in selling the company, whether they like it or not. Democracy dies in cap tables.
The VC who actually makes investment decisions and sits on boards, bearing unlimited liability but collecting management fees and carried interest. The person founders pitch to, hoping they're in a good mood.
The strategy for how a fund allocates capital across different investments, stages, sectors, and check sizes. The art of arranging your bets so at least one or two have to work out mathematically.
The modern equivalent of passing the hat, except the hat is a slick website and you're asking thousands of strangers on the internet to fund your dream project, questionable invention, or potato salad. It's democratized investing meets collective optimism meets occasional fraud.
The strategy of perfecting product-market fit and unit economics in one market before expanding broadly. It's the anti-blitzscaling approach that prioritizes learning over land grabbing.