Disrupting disruption with disruptive disruptions since 2010.
The extended period after initial startup excitement fades when growth stalls and reality sets in, but you're too committed to quit. It's the emotional valley between 'we're going to change the world' and 'maybe we should get real jobs.'
The first fundraising round from people who love you enough to give you money despite zero evidence your idea will work. The most expensive way to ruin Thanksgiving dinner conversations.
A toxic funding structure where conversion price drops as stock price falls, creating a downward spiral that destroys equity value. The financial equivalent of quicksand—struggling only makes it worse.
The percentage of a company a VC aims to own to make an investment worthwhile relative to their fund size. It's why large funds often can't invest in your seed round—they need bigger slices.
Contract provisions allowing investors to force the company to buy back their shares after a certain period, typically if there's no exit. A rarely exercised nuclear option that reminds founders who really has the power.
A funding round at a lower valuation than the previous round, signaling either terrible execution or terrible timing. Triggers anti-dilution provisions and existential crises among founders.
An introduction to an investor or customer through a mutual connection, vastly more effective than cold outreach. The difference between your email being read and being instantly deleted by an EA.
The percentage of a VC fund's investments that return zero, typically 50-70% despite everyone's confident pitches. The number partners don't mention at LP meetings unless forced.
A pejorative term for investors who swoop in during distressed situations to extract maximum value at founders' expense. The same people who call themselves 'value investors' on their websites.
A system where VCs give small pools of capital to well-connected individuals to make investments on the firm's behalf. A brilliant way to outsource deal flow while paying in equity instead of salary.
The percentage of a VC fund set aside for follow-on investments in existing portfolio companies. The math that determines whether your investor can actually support you in the next round or just awkwardly watch.
A VC who claims they'll actively help your company through connections, advice, and support, as opposed to just wiring money. Reality: they'll make three intros, attend two board meetings, then ghost you unless you're a unicorn.
The act of reducing ownership percentage by issuing new shares, or what happens to founders' equity every time VCs open their checkbooks. In chemistry, it means adding solvent to weaken a solution; in startup world, it means your 50% stake just became 30% and you're supposed to smile because the company is now "worth more." The most expensive way to raise money without technically losing money.
The magical moment when your paper wealth becomes actual money you can spend—typically through an acquisition or IPO. It's what everyone's working toward but few actually experience.
Veto rights that let preferred shareholders block certain major decisions like selling the company or raising more money. Democracy in theory, oligarchy in practice.
The art of building a valuable company while raising as little outside funding as possible, preserving founder ownership and bragging rights. It's increasingly rare in an era of mega-rounds and bloated valuations.
The percentage discount early investors get when their notes convert to equity, rewarding them for investing before a priced round. It's the early bird special of startup investing, typically 15-25%.
The typical 10-year lifespan of a venture capital fund from raising money to returning capital to LPs, with investment happening in years 1-5 and exits in years 5-10. It's why your VC keeps asking about your exit timeline.
Limited Partner, the institutional investors and wealthy individuals who provide capital to VC funds, essentially the VCs' VCs. They're the puppetmasters who rarely appear but whose capital enables the whole show.
General Partner, the VC fund managers who make investment decisions and carry legal liability for the fund's operations. They're the ones whose names are on the door and whose reputations are on the line.
A provision that speeds up the vesting of unvested equity upon specific events like acquisition or termination. It's the golden parachute for startup employees who might otherwise get screwed by good news.
The specific order in which investment proceeds are distributed among LPs and GPs based on the fund's legal agreements. It's the pecking order that determines who eats first at the exit feast.
The total value returned to investors divided by the total amount invested, ignoring time. It's the simple, honest metric that tells you whether you made or lost money, period.
Someone who attends board meetings but lacks voting rights, typically a junior investor or potential future investor. They're flies on the wall with NDAs and calendars full of meetings they can't influence.