Disrupting disruption with disruptive disruptions since 2010.
The annual fee (typically 2% of committed capital) that VC fund managers charge to keep the lights on, whether or not they make good investments. The guaranteed money that pays for offices, salaries, and kombucha before carried interest kicks in.
A sudden, catastrophic drop in value, performance, or viability—the moment your startup's growth chart becomes a ski slope in the wrong direction. Often used in VC circles to describe what happens when a company hits its scaling limit without a parachute.
Monthly Recurring Revenue—the predictable revenue generated each month from subscription customers, the metric that makes investors weep with joy.
When a highly-valued startup implodes through mismanagement, fraud, or 'the market wasn't ready'—basically Elizabeth Holmes energy.
An independent appraisal of your private company's value for tax purposes—made by third parties specifically so the IRS can't argue your strike price was fraudulently low.
A person who owns money and loves owning more money, preferably through means that maximize wealth accumulation. The ideological cheerleader for markets and minimal regulation.
Money from professional investors betting billions annually that 1% of startups will become unicorns. A mostly efficient system for transferring wealth from LPs to founders (and from founders to VCs).
To abandon ship faster than a rat on the Titanic. In startup parlance, when a feature, product, or entire business model gets the axe because it's hemorrhaging money or nobody wants it. No ceremony, no fanfare—just gone.
The messy dissolution of a relationship (romantic or business) where two things that were stuck together decide they'd rather never see each other again. Bonus awkwardness if they share a friend group.
Selling directly to individual consumers, requiring massive scale and viral growth to be venture-viable.
Venture Capitalist or Venture Capital—investors who bet on high-risk, high-reward startups in exchange for equity. They're basically professional optimists with other people's money.
A startup incubator or venture capital term for an early-stage company breeding ground where fledgling ideas get fed, nurtured, and hopefully don't die under fluorescent lights. Think of it as the preschool for businesses that haven't figured out profitability yet.
A competitive advantage based on how easily you can reach customers. Spoiler alert: most startups don't have one and never will.
Sequential funding rounds labeled alphabetically, each supposedly representing the company's progression from barely-viable to 'we probably need more money anyway.'
The price per share at which employees can exercise their stock options. Set artificially low so they can actually afford to buy their equity on the off chance it's worth something.
The realistic revenue you can capture in the next 5-10 years—the number that makes your board members slightly less nervous than TAM.
To board a vessel or aircraft, or more metaphorically, to start something new and vaguely terrifying. Whether it's a cruise ship or a startup, embarking means you've committed and there's no backing out now.
Large organizations like pension funds, insurance companies, or endowments that invest in venture funds, adding legitimacy and money but no direct feedback.
A startup that's past the early stage and trying to grow as fast as possible. It's the phase where you hire thousands of people who aren't sure what the product is.
Later-stage funding rounds (C, D, E, F, etc.) for companies approaching profitability or dramatic growth. The venture capital equivalent of 'we've lost count.'
A shareholder or investor who has a formal seat on your board, allowing them to help make decisions and take credit when things go well, blame founders when they don't.
The engineering audit where technical experts examine your code, architecture, and tech debt to see if you're about to implode.
A market opportunity that nobody has thoroughly exploited yet, either because it's genuinely undiscovered or because nobody cares.
Special shares that get priority in liquidation, dividends, or control—essentially investor insurance against founder incompetence.