Disrupting disruption with disruptive disruptions since 2010.
A financing round where new investors impose harsh terms on existing shareholders who lack the votes to block it. It's democracy in action, if democracy meant 'whoever has the most money wins.'
An investment opportunity sourced exclusively by one firm rather than through competitive process. The venture capital equivalent of finding $20 in your coat pocket—rare, lucky, and probably won't happen again.
A provision requiring existing investors to participate in future funding rounds or lose their special privileges. The venture capital equivalent of 'use it or lose it.'
A schedule requiring founders to earn their equity over time, typically 4 years with a 1-year cliff. The investor-imposed acknowledgment that founding a company doesn't mean you'll stick around to build it.
A profitable company designed to generate comfortable income for its founders rather than pursue hypergrowth and venture returns. The entrepreneurial equivalent of choosing happiness over glory.
Financial projections showing what a company's metrics would look like under hypothetical conditions or future scenarios. Latin for 'as a matter of form,' startup-ese for 'this is the fantasy we're selling investors.'
The hierarchical order in which different classes of investors get paid during an exit, determined by liquidation preferences from multiple funding rounds. It's a legal game of Jenga where common stockholders usually lose.
Additional investment in portfolio companies by existing investors in subsequent rounds. Doubling down on your bets or, less charitably, throwing good money after bad while hoping the first investment wasn't a complete disaster.
Rights allowing majority shareholders to force minority shareholders to join in selling the company. Corporate democracy's escape hatch, where your vote doesn't matter if enough people with more shares decide differently.
An experienced entrepreneur or advisor, typically older, who's seen multiple technology cycles and startup failures. They provide wisdom, pattern recognition, and constant reminders that everything has been tried before.
Additional capital raised on the same terms as the previous round (like a Series A-1) rather than progressing to the next stage, buying time without the stigma of a flat or down round. The startup equivalent of taking an incomplete rather than failing the course.
The internal practice at VC firms of writing detailed investment memos that analyze potential deals. Where partners commit their hottest takes to writing so they can be mocked later when wrong.
Any exchange of goods, services, or money, elevated to sound more important when preceded by 'business' or followed by 'cost.' In startup world, it's the holy grail metric that proves people are actually using your product for its intended purpose rather than just kicking the tires. VCs obsess over transaction volume, transaction value, and transaction frequency as if counting exchanges of value will somehow predict the future.
An organizational dysfunction where the loudest voice wins every argument, regardless of actual merit or logic. Common in toxic startups and poorly-managed teams where decibel level is somehow confused with leadership ability, ensuring the best ideas often die in quiet corners while mediocre ones get screamed into existence.
Also called tag-along rights, these allow minority shareholders to join a sale transaction if majority holders are selling their shares. The 'if you're abandoning ship, I'm coming too' clause.
The theoretical benefit of being first to market, used to justify rushing out half-baked products. History suggests fast-follower advantage is more valuable, but that doesn't sound as impressive in pitch decks.
The most aggressive anti-dilution protection where early investors' conversion price adjusts to match a down round price, regardless of how small the down round is. Financial punishment for daring to need more money.
A funding round where the company's valuation is explicitly set and shares have a specific price—as opposed to convertible instruments where everyone kicks the valuation can down the road. Forces uncomfortable conversations about what the company is actually worth.
The most stripped-down version of your product that customers will actually use without demanding a refund—or at least that's the theory. In practice, it's whatever you can ship before running out of money.
When a company buys a failing startup primarily for its talent, with the product being immediately shut down. A face-saving exit that's really just an expensive recruiting strategy with better PR.
The startup world's euphemism for customers abandoning ship, measured as the rate at which subscribers cancel or stop using your service. It's the metric that keeps SaaS founders up at night, because acquiring new customers is expensive but losing existing ones is devastating. High churn is basically your business slowly bleeding out, but with spreadsheets.
A startup valued at over $1 billion that has never undergone the reality check of going public or getting acquired. Their unicorn status exists purely in the fantasy land of private market valuations.
A financing so dilutive that existing shareholders are essentially wiped out, often following multiple bridge rounds and broken promises. The financial equivalent of starting over but with more emotional baggage.
Past tense of churning, describing customers who've abandoned ship or accounts that have been excessively traded for commissions. In the startup world, it's the past tense of failure—these are the users who tried your product and decided literally anything else was better. When your investors ask about churned customers, it's never a fun conversation.