Disrupting disruption with disruptive disruptions since 2010.
Contract provisions allowing investors to force the company to buy back their shares after a certain period, typically if there's no exit. A rarely exercised nuclear option that reminds founders who really has the power.
The venture capital strategy of seeking only investments with potential to return the entire fund, requiring massive exits. A portfolio approach that ignores solid doubles and triples in favor of swinging for nonexistent fences.
A funding round at a lower valuation than the previous round, signaling either terrible execution or terrible timing. Triggers anti-dilution provisions and existential crises among founders.
The hierarchical order in which different classes of investors get paid during an exit, determined by liquidation preferences from multiple funding rounds. It's a legal game of Jenga where common stockholders usually lose.
A toxic funding structure where conversion price drops as stock price falls, creating a downward spiral that destroys equity value. The financial equivalent of quicksand—struggling only makes it worse.
The act of reducing ownership percentage by issuing new shares, or what happens to founders' equity every time VCs open their checkbooks. In chemistry, it means adding solvent to weaken a solution; in startup world, it means your 50% stake just became 30% and you're supposed to smile because the company is now "worth more." The most expensive way to raise money without technically losing money.
The time required for an investment fund to return its original capital to LPs through exits and distributions. It's the VC equivalent of asking 'when do I get my money back?'
A financing round where new investors impose harsh terms on existing shareholders who lack the votes to block it. It's democracy in action, if democracy meant 'whoever has the most money wins.'
A VC's strong belief in an investment thesis despite contrary evidence or market skepticism. The confidence to write a check when everyone else thinks you're insane—sometimes brilliance, often delusion.
Capital set aside by a VC fund to support existing portfolio companies in future rounds. The difference between investing in 20 companies and actually having money to help the 2-3 that work.
A profitable company designed to generate comfortable income for its founders rather than pursue hypergrowth and venture returns. The entrepreneurial equivalent of choosing happiness over glory.
Loans provided to venture-backed startups, typically secured by assets or future funding rounds. It's called 'non-dilutive capital,' which really means 'you'll dilute yourself later when you can't pay it back.'
Emergency financing raised by a struggling startup at unfavorable terms just to avoid immediate shutdown. It's the fundraising equivalent of pulling the ripcord on a failing skydive.
An anti-dilution mechanism that adjusts an investor's equity stake if the company raises money at a lower valuation, protecting them from down rounds. Full ratchet is brutal; weighted average is gentler.
Venture funds started by former Tiger Global partners or investors, inheriting their aggressive growth-at-all-costs investment philosophy. They're the offspring that learned well from their parent's playbook.
A contractual restriction preventing insiders from selling shares after an IPO, typically 90-180 days. Because letting founders dump all their stock on day one would be honest but catastrophic for stock price.
Investors who prey on distressed startups, offering unfavorable terms when founders are desperate. They prefer the smell of burning runway in the morning.
The pattern where a venture fund initially shows negative returns as it deploys capital and pays fees, before (hopefully) shooting upward when investments exit. A graph that looks like the letter J, assuming your fund doesn't remain in the vertical downstroke forever.
A product development organization obsessed with shipping features rather than solving customer problems or delivering value. The startup equivalent of a hamster wheel—lots of motion, no actual progress.
A company culture claiming to make decisions based on data analysis rather than gut feeling, though which metrics get measured mysteriously align with what leadership already wanted to do. It's astrology for MBAs.
Any exchange of goods, services, or money, elevated to sound more important when preceded by 'business' or followed by 'cost.' In startup world, it's the holy grail metric that proves people are actually using your product for its intended purpose rather than just kicking the tires. VCs obsess over transaction volume, transaction value, and transaction frequency as if counting exchanges of value will somehow predict the future.
When a VC aggressively increases their investment in a portfolio company across multiple rounds, betting their career on being right. Conviction investing taken to its logical extreme.
Excess stock options or debt that will dilute existing shareholders, hanging over the cap table like a financial storm cloud. Future pain that everyone pretends isn't there.
The delicate art of figuring out how to extract money from something that users currently enjoy for free, typically resulting in a barrage of ads, paywalls, or premium subscriptions. This verb represents the moment when platforms transition from "community-building" to "shareholder-pleasing," often coinciding with users complaining that everything good gets ruined. Monetization strategies range from subtle to obnoxious, but they all share the goal of turning engagement into revenue.