Disrupting disruption with disruptive disruptions since 2010.
A startup that a VC firm has invested in, now living in their collection like a Pokémon card. Each firm has dozens, knowing most will fail but hoping one becomes a legendary holographic Charizard.
The information conveyed to the market by investor actions, such as who leads a round or whether insiders participate in follow-ons. In startup land, subtext is text.
Vesting acceleration that requires two events—typically an acquisition plus termination—before unvested shares become immediately vested. Single trigger's more reasonable younger sibling.
A financing round raised at the same valuation as the previous round, suggesting a company has neither advanced nor declined—essentially treading water while burning cash. More diplomatically acceptable than a down round but almost as concerning to investors.
Someone who gives you money in exchange for a piece of your company, future profits, or the thrill of watching their capital evaporate. They're either your best friend or worst nightmare, depending on whether your quarterly numbers are trending upward. In startup land, they're the people whose calls you always take.
Additional money invested in a portfolio company after the initial round—either because things are going great and you want more ownership, or things are terrible and you're protecting your original investment. Hope and desperation look surprisingly similar.
The startup world's euphemism for customers abandoning ship, measured as the rate at which subscribers cancel or stop using your service. It's the metric that keeps SaaS founders up at night, because acquiring new customers is expensive but losing existing ones is devastating. High churn is basically your business slowly bleeding out, but with spreadsheets.
Informal promises of future equity that aren't documented in legal agreements, often made to early advisors or contributors. A lawsuit waiting to happen, wrapped in a handshake.
A financing round at a higher valuation than previous rounds, signaling growth and traction to the market. The opposite of a down round and considerably better for everyone's mood, if not always their long-term prospects.
Contract provisions allowing investors to force the company to buy back their shares after a certain period, typically if there's no exit. A rarely exercised nuclear option that reminds founders who really has the power.
The venture capital strategy of seeking only investments with potential to return the entire fund, requiring massive exits. A portfolio approach that ignores solid doubles and triples in favor of swinging for nonexistent fences.
A funding round at a lower valuation than the previous round, signaling either terrible execution or terrible timing. Triggers anti-dilution provisions and existential crises among founders.
A calculation of ownership percentages that includes all possible shares—options, warrants, convertible notes, and that napkin the founder signed in 2009. The number that reveals how little of the company you actually own.
The practice where investors force a startup to create or expand the employee option pool before a funding round, effectively diluting founders rather than new investors. It's a clever way to pay employees with founder equity.
A PowerPoint presentation optimized for skimming, typically 10-15 slides explaining why your startup will change the world and only needs $2M to do it. It's fiction dressed up as financial projections.
Someone who receives equity for occasionally responding to emails and allowing you to use their name on your website. The advisor-to-impact ratio is the lowest in all of business, yet every startup has seven of them.
The exhaustion investors feel after reviewing hundreds of pitch decks that all blur together with the same buzzwords and hockey stick projections. It's why your 'revolutionary AI blockchain solution' makes their eyes glaze over.
When investors, customers, or acquirers proactively reach out to a startup rather than being solicited. It's the entrepreneurial equivalent of being asked to the dance instead of doing the asking.
Aggressively pursuing market share and user growth at the expense of profitability or unit economics, betting that dominance now will create a moat later. It's monopoly thinking fueled by venture capital.
When a startup prioritizes acquiring recognizable brand-name customers purely for credibility, even if those deals are unprofitable or unsustainable. It's the corporate equivalent of name-dropping at parties.
An entrepreneur driven primarily by solving a problem or advancing a cause rather than financial gain. They're the idealists who actually believe their mission statement.
The time required for an investment fund to return its original capital to LPs through exits and distributions. It's the VC equivalent of asking 'when do I get my money back?'
A provision in IPO underwriting allowing underwriters to sell additional shares if demand exceeds expectations, typically up to 15% more. Named after the first company to use it, because finance people hate straightforward names.
A schedule requiring founders to earn their equity over time, typically 4 years with a 1-year cliff. The investor-imposed acknowledgment that founding a company doesn't mean you'll stick around to build it.