Disrupting disruption with disruptive disruptions since 2010.
The degree to which a founder's background, skills, and experience align with the problem they're trying to solve. VCs love backing someone who's lived the pain they're addressing.
When expansion revenue from existing customers exceeds lost revenue from cancellations, the holy grail of SaaS metrics. It's losing customers but somehow making more money anyway.
Vesting acceleration that requires two events—typically an acquisition plus termination—before unvested shares become immediately vested. Single trigger's more reasonable younger sibling.
A VC or advisor who has actually built and run companies rather than just invested in them from the sidelines. The startup equivalent of a war veteran versus someone who just played Call of Duty.
The minimum annual return (typically 8%) that limited partners receive before general partners can claim carried interest, functioning as a hurdle rate to ensure LPs get paid first. Think of it as making the GP eat their vegetables before getting dessert.
In startup-land, it's the art of nursing a half-baked business idea in a controlled environment with free coffee and ping-pong tables until it either hatches into a unicorn or expires quietly. Literally borrowed from the egg-warming business, because apparently founders need the same level of coddling as baby chickens. This metaphorical brooding period involves providing ideal conditions (mentorship, funding, ramen) while the startup grows its feathers.
The unethical practice where brokers excessively trade in a client's account primarily to generate commissions rather than profits, essentially treating your portfolio like a butter-making operation. In SaaS, it refers to the rate at which customers cancel their subscriptions, making it the metric that haunts every startup founder's dreams. Either way, it's excessive activity that benefits someone other than you.
The maximum valuation at which a convertible note or SAFE will convert to equity—a safety net for early investors betting on you when you were nobody. The lower the cap, the more expensive your desperation was.
A clause protecting investors from getting screwed when a company raises money at a lower valuation, automatically giving them more shares to maintain their investment value. Founders hate it; investors demand it.
Additional money invested in a portfolio company after the initial round—either because things are going great and you want more ownership, or things are terrible and you're protecting your original investment. Hope and desperation look surprisingly similar.
The typical 10-year lifespan of a venture capital fund from raising money to returning capital to LPs, with investment happening in years 1-5 and exits in years 5-10. It's why your VC keeps asking about your exit timeline.
When a startup's revenue covers basic operating expenses (ramen-level salaries), allowing it to survive without external funding.
A schedule requiring founders to earn their equity over time, typically 4 years with a 1-year cliff. The investor-imposed acknowledgment that founding a company doesn't mean you'll stick around to build it.
A company that's neither thriving nor dying—generating just enough revenue to shuffle forward indefinitely but lacking the growth to succeed or the decency to fail completely. The undead of the startup ecosystem.
The overwhelming wave of convertible notes and SAFEs that convert to equity during a priced round, often revealing a far more complex cap table than founders realized. The moment when chickens come home to roost, except the chickens are financial instruments.
A calculation of ownership percentages that includes all possible shares—options, warrants, convertible notes, and that napkin the founder signed in 2009. The number that reveals how little of the company you actually own.
The cultural expectation in startup ecosystems that successful entrepreneurs and investors should help newcomers, supposedly creating a virtuous cycle. In practice, it's often networking disguised as altruism.
A supplemental investment vehicle created alongside a main fund to accommodate additional capital from LPs or special investors, often for a specific deal or opportunity too large for the main fund. The VC version of ordering extra fries because one serving isn't enough.
An introduction to an investor or customer through a mutual connection, vastly more effective than cold outreach. The difference between your email being read and being instantly deleted by an EA.
The VC's cut of investment profits, typically 20% of gains above a certain return threshold. How general partners get rich while limited partners provide the actual money—the ultimate performance fee.
The mathematical reality that in venture capital, one or two investments generate nearly all the returns while the rest are mediocre or dead. Why VCs can lose money on 90% of their portfolio and still return 3x the fund.
Special privileges allowing certain LPs to invest additional money directly into specific portfolio companies alongside the fund, usually with lower or no fees. The VIP backstage pass of venture investing.
Unspent capital sitting in a VC fund, waiting to be deployed into investments. The ammunition that lets VCs act fast when hot deals emerge or support portfolio companies needing emergency cash.
The AARRR framework measuring Acquisition, Activation, Retention, Referral, and Revenue—the key metrics for growth-stage startups. Named because AARRR sounds like a pirate, which is somehow still funny to founders.