Disrupting disruption with disruptive disruptions since 2010.
The formal demand from a general partner to limited partners to wire their committed funds, usually with 10-30 days notice and an implied "or else" hanging in the air. It's how venture funds move committed money from promised to deployed.
Equity allocated to former employees, advisors, or early team members who are no longer contributing to the company but still own shares. It's the corporate equivalent of paying rent for a ghost tenant.
A wealthy individual who invests their own money in early-stage startups, typically because they're either bored with normal investments or enjoy the thrill of watching their cash evaporate in creative ways. These financial guardian spirits usually write checks between $25K and $100K in exchange for equity, mentorship duties they may or may not fulfill, and the right to say 'I invested in that' at cocktail parties. They're called angels because founders pray for them, not because they're particularly heavenly.
The phenomenon where the worst investment opportunities are most aggressively marketed to investors, while the best deals are oversubscribed and hard to access. If they're begging you to invest, run.
Past tense of churning, describing customers who've abandoned ship or accounts that have been excessively traded for commissions. In the startup world, it's the past tense of failure—these are the users who tried your product and decided literally anything else was better. When your investors ask about churned customers, it's never a fun conversation.
What investors claim your company is worth before they invest—a number that's actually meaningless but gets thrown around in press releases. Add the investment amount to get post-money, which is what your ownership percentage is actually based on.
The magical moment when stock options or retirement contributions officially become yours to keep, transforming from corporate dangling carrot into actual ownership. It's the golden handcuffs' lock clicking shut, ensuring you'll think twice before rage-quitting. The startup world's version of 'you must be this loyal to ride this rocket ship.'
Legal promises in investment agreements where founders swear everything they've said is true and the company isn't hiding skeletons. Breaking these can result in personal liability, making due diligence the most stressful time to discover that intern you hired in 2019 never signed an IP assignment.
Reserved portion of an acquisition's proceeds specifically allocated to employees or specific shareholders, ensuring they benefit even if the waterfall would otherwise drown them. Exit sharing mandated by negotiation or generosity.
A company that owns and controls every layer of its product or service delivery, from manufacturing to customer experience, rather than relying on existing infrastructure or platforms. It's vertical integration for the startup age.
When a company acquires a startup primarily to shut it down and eliminate competition, rather than to integrate talent or technology. It's the evil twin of acqui-hire where everyone loses except the shareholders.
The first major investor who commits to a fund or round, giving others confidence to follow. Like the first person to dance at a party—everyone was waiting for someone brave (or drunk) enough to start.
The danger that passing on an investment or accepting certain terms sends negative messages to future investors. In VC, optics matter as much as economics—sometimes you reject money because taking it would look desperate.
When a company buys a failing startup primarily for its talent, with the product being immediately shut down. A face-saving exit that's really just an expensive recruiting strategy with better PR.
An experienced entrepreneur or advisor, typically older, who's seen multiple technology cycles and startup failures. They provide wisdom, pattern recognition, and constant reminders that everything has been tried before.
The impossible choice between maintaining control of your company and maximizing its financial value, first articulated by Harvard's Noam Wasserman. You can be rich or you can be king, but probably not both.
The sadistic waiting period before any of your stock options actually belong to you, typically one year. It's designed to prevent you from taking the job and immediately quitting, essentially holding your compensation hostage for good behavior.
A provision allowing limited partners to reclaim previously distributed carried interest from GPs if later losses reduce overall fund returns. The nightmare scenario keeping fund managers up at night.
An experienced executive or advisor brought into a startup to add operational credibility and grown-up supervision to a young founding team. Think adult daycare, but for unicorn hopefuls.
A referral to an investor through a trusted mutual connection, as opposed to cold outreach. The difference between getting a response and having your email automatically archived.
Investment opportunities sourced through unique channels rather than pitch competitions and cold emails, giving VCs the illusion they've discovered something competitors haven't. Usually just means they have better interns.
Informal promises of future equity that aren't documented in legal agreements, often made to early advisors or contributors. A lawsuit waiting to happen, wrapped in a handshake.
A sales or fundraising strategy focused exclusively on landing enormous clients or investors rather than building up smaller ones. It's high-risk, high-reward betting where you either feast or starve.
Warrants or stock options added as sweetener to a debt deal, giving lenders upside if the company succeeds. Because apparently charging interest isn't enough—they want a piece of the action too.