Disrupting disruption with disruptive disruptions since 2010.
A clause protecting investors from getting screwed when a company raises money at a lower valuation, automatically giving them more shares to maintain their investment value. Founders hate it; investors demand it.
A chair at the table where actual company decisions get made, typically negotiated by lead investors who want control over their millions. Where strategy is debated, CEOs are fired, and founders learn they don't actually run their company alone.
The VC expectation that founders will make introductions, provide advice, and help other portfolio companies in exchange for investment and support. Networking as a contractual obligation.
A single slide in a pitch deck, often discussing one specific aspect of the business in vague, aspirational terms.
The right to participate in future financing rounds to maintain ownership percentage, preventing dilution through passive-aggressive legal provisions. Pro rata rights by another name, somehow more intimidating.
A provision that speeds up the vesting of unvested equity upon specific events like acquisition or termination. It's the golden parachute for startup employees who might otherwise get screwed by good news.
Money given to startups by firms who expect most of their investments to fail spectacularly, banking on one unicorn to pay for all the donkeys. VCs will fund almost anything if you put AI in the pitch deck and promise to disrupt something.
The formal demand from a general partner to limited partners to wire their committed funds, usually with 10-30 days notice and an implied "or else" hanging in the air. It's how venture funds move committed money from promised to deployed.
A financing so dilutive that existing shareholders are essentially wiped out, often following multiple bridge rounds and broken promises. The financial equivalent of starting over but with more emotional baggage.
A mechanical advantage device that pivots on a fulcrum to multiply force, or in startup parlance, anything you can use to do more with less. Every MBA in Silicon Valley thinks they've found a "lever" to pull, usually right before asking for $5M in seed funding. Physics teachers hate how loosely VCs use this term, but hey, at least someone's paying attention to simple machines.
IRS tax designation (Section 1202) that can exclude up to $10 million in gains from federal taxes for early startup investors, assuming you navigate the Byzantine requirements. The tax break that makes angel investing slightly less insane.
A supplemental investment vehicle created alongside a main fund to accommodate additional capital from LPs or special investors, often for a specific deal or opportunity too large for the main fund. The VC version of ordering extra fries because one serving isn't enough.
The sadistic waiting period before any of your stock options actually belong to you, typically one year. It's designed to prevent you from taking the job and immediately quitting, essentially holding your compensation hostage for good behavior.
The maximum valuation at which a convertible note or SAFE will convert to equity—a safety net for early investors betting on you when you were nobody. The lower the cap, the more expensive your desperation was.
A referral to an investor through a trusted mutual connection, as opposed to cold outreach. The difference between getting a response and having your email automatically archived.
A clause ensuring investors get their money back first when the company sells or dies—like having a reserved lifeboat while founders and employees fight over pool floaties. Can be 1x (reasonable) or 3x (predatory).
Acronym for product-market fit, used by people too busy crushing it to say three whole words. It's the startup world's obsession with abbreviations meeting their obsession with the only metric that actually matters.
Phantom stock or profit interests that mimic real equity without actually granting ownership, often used to incentivize employees without diluting founders. All the motivation, none of the control.
The lower compensation that employees accept to work at mission-driven startups or in attractive industries like gaming or entertainment. Employers exploit your dreams to underpay you.
The magical moment when stock options or retirement contributions officially become yours to keep, transforming from corporate dangling carrot into actual ownership. It's the golden handcuffs' lock clicking shut, ensuring you'll think twice before rage-quitting. The startup world's version of 'you must be this loyal to ride this rocket ship.'
Unsolicited outreach to investors or customers who have no idea who you are and probably don't care. The digital equivalent of knocking on strangers' doors, with similar success rates.
When a startup gets stuck endlessly perfecting their product demo instead of actually selling to customers or raising funds. It's the entrepreneurial version of rearranging deck chairs on the Titanic.
When expansion revenue from existing customers exceeds lost revenue from cancellations, the holy grail of SaaS metrics. It's losing customers but somehow making more money anyway.
What investors claim your company is worth before they invest—a number that's actually meaningless but gets thrown around in press releases. Add the investment amount to get post-money, which is what your ownership percentage is actually based on.