Disrupting disruption with disruptive disruptions since 2010.
A funding round where a company raises money at a lower valuation than the previous round, which is the startup equivalent of your house being appraised for less than you paid for it, except everyone on Twitter knows about it. Morale is measured in tears per employee.
A literal plot of dirt prepped for seeds, or metaphorically, any environment ripe for nurturing nascent ideas—like Silicon Valley for startups or your uncle's garage for questionable business ventures. In startup parlance, it's where brilliant innovations and terrible ideas alike take root before anyone can tell which is which. The key difference from an incubator? Seedbeds are cheaper and smell more like actual dirt.
The terrifying state of having mere weeks of cash remaining, when every expense is scrutinized and founders start drafting layoff announcements. The financial equivalent of flying on empty while the engine sputters.
The process of narrowing your target market to a smaller, more specific segment rather than trying to serve everyone. What pivoting looks like when you finally accept your TAM assumptions were delusional.
Keeping multiple strategic paths open while committing to none, often praised as strategic flexibility or criticized as inability to make decisions. The business equivalent of dating multiple people because you're 'keeping your options open.'
The handful of key performance indicators that actually determine business health versus the vanity metrics founders cite in pitch meetings. Revenue and retention versus social media followers and press mentions.
Protective clauses that let early investors maintain their ownership percentage when future rounds price lower, punishing founders for failing to maintain perpetual hockey stick growth. Comes in weighted-average and full-ratchet flavors of pain.
Your master plan for how you'll actually convince humans to exchange money for your product, typically involving buzzwords like 'omnichannel' and 'vertical integration.' It's the section of your pitch deck you update most frequently as each approach fails.
A startup that returns an entire venture fund's value through a single investment, making every other deal in the portfolio irrelevant. Rarer than unicorns and more impactful than a hundred modest successes combined.
Late-stage debt or hybrid securities used to bridge the gap between venture rounds and an exit. It's called mezzanine because it sits between the ground floor (equity) and penthouse (IPO).
A financing or exit event that triggers specific contractual provisions in a term sheet, such as conversion of convertible notes or acceleration of vesting. The legal trip-wire that determines when various startup agreements activate.
The VC expectation that founders will make introductions, provide advice, and help other portfolio companies in exchange for investment and support. Networking as a contractual obligation.
A financing round where new investors impose unfavorable terms on existing shareholders who lack the power to block it. Essentially a hostile takeover by people already inside your building.
Any transaction that transfers majority ownership or control of a company, typically triggering various contractual provisions like vesting acceleration, payment obligations, or approval rights. The legal definition of when your startup stops being yours.
A provision that speeds up the vesting of unvested equity upon specific events like acquisition or termination. It's the golden parachute for startup employees who might otherwise get screwed by good news.
A financing so dilutive that existing shareholders are essentially wiped out, often following multiple bridge rounds and broken promises. The financial equivalent of starting over but with more emotional baggage.
A venture capital fund owned and operated by a larger corporation to invest in strategically relevant startups. They bring money and potential acquisition interest, but everyone knows who they're really working for.
The right to participate in future financing rounds to maintain ownership percentage, preventing dilution through passive-aggressive legal provisions. Pro rata rights by another name, somehow more intimidating.
Money given to startups by firms who expect most of their investments to fail spectacularly, banking on one unicorn to pay for all the donkeys. VCs will fund almost anything if you put AI in the pitch deck and promise to disrupt something.
Sequential institutional funding rounds designated by letters, theoretically indicating maturity but practically just measuring how much money you've convinced people to give you. The alphabet of ambition.
When a startup gets stuck endlessly perfecting their product demo instead of actually selling to customers or raising funds. It's the entrepreneurial version of rearranging deck chairs on the Titanic.
Past tense of churning, describing customers who've abandoned ship or accounts that have been excessively traded for commissions. In the startup world, it's the past tense of failure—these are the users who tried your product and decided literally anything else was better. When your investors ask about churned customers, it's never a fun conversation.
The formal demand from a general partner to limited partners to wire their committed funds, usually with 10-30 days notice and an implied "or else" hanging in the air. It's how venture funds move committed money from promised to deployed.
IRS tax designation (Section 1202) that can exclude up to $10 million in gains from federal taxes for early startup investors, assuming you navigate the Byzantine requirements. The tax break that makes angel investing slightly less insane.