Disrupting disruption with disruptive disruptions since 2010.
Money given to startups by firms who expect most of their investments to fail spectacularly, banking on one unicorn to pay for all the donkeys. VCs will fund almost anything if you put AI in the pitch deck and promise to disrupt something.
A financing round where new investors impose unfavorable terms on existing shareholders who lack the power to block it. Essentially a hostile takeover by people already inside your building.
Any transaction that transfers majority ownership or control of a company, typically triggering various contractual provisions like vesting acceleration, payment obligations, or approval rights. The legal definition of when your startup stops being yours.
Protective clauses that let early investors maintain their ownership percentage when future rounds price lower, punishing founders for failing to maintain perpetual hockey stick growth. Comes in weighted-average and full-ratchet flavors of pain.
A company that owns and controls every layer of its product or service delivery, from manufacturing to customer experience, rather than relying on existing infrastructure or platforms. It's vertical integration for the startup age.
A literal plot of dirt prepped for seeds, or metaphorically, any environment ripe for nurturing nascent ideas—like Silicon Valley for startups or your uncle's garage for questionable business ventures. In startup parlance, it's where brilliant innovations and terrible ideas alike take root before anyone can tell which is which. The key difference from an incubator? Seedbeds are cheaper and smell more like actual dirt.
Unspent capital sitting in a VC fund, waiting to be deployed into investments. The ammunition that lets VCs act fast when hot deals emerge or support portfolio companies needing emergency cash.
A clause ensuring investors get their money back first when the company sells or dies—like having a reserved lifeboat while founders and employees fight over pool floaties. Can be 1x (reasonable) or 3x (predatory).
The contractual right of existing investors to lead or participate in the next funding round before the company can seek outside investors. It's a first-look deal built into your cap table.
Informal promises of future equity that aren't documented in legal agreements, often made to early advisors or contributors. A lawsuit waiting to happen, wrapped in a handshake.
Your master plan for how you'll actually convince humans to exchange money for your product, typically involving buzzwords like 'omnichannel' and 'vertical integration.' It's the section of your pitch deck you update most frequently as each approach fails.
Vesting acceleration that requires two events—typically an acquisition plus termination—before unvested shares become immediately vested. Single trigger's more reasonable younger sibling.
The internal process VCs use to rank portfolio companies or investment opportunities from best to worst. A forced ranking system that ensures someone always gets picked last for dodgeball.
The first major investor who commits to a fund or round, giving others confidence to follow. Like the first person to dance at a party—everyone was waiting for someone brave (or drunk) enough to start.
Equity allocated to former employees, advisors, or early team members who are no longer contributing to the company but still own shares. It's the corporate equivalent of paying rent for a ghost tenant.
When a startup gets stuck endlessly perfecting their product demo instead of actually selling to customers or raising funds. It's the entrepreneurial version of rearranging deck chairs on the Titanic.
A sales or fundraising strategy focused exclusively on landing enormous clients or investors rather than building up smaller ones. It's high-risk, high-reward betting where you either feast or starve.
Potential customers or deals that have been vetted and meet specific criteria, as opposed to raw leads. It's the difference between people who downloaded your whitepaper and people actually evaluating a purchase.
The VC expectation that founders will make introductions, provide advice, and help other portfolio companies in exchange for investment and support. Networking as a contractual obligation.
A venture fund typically under $50M that invests small checks in very early-stage startups. They offer founder-friendly terms and actual attention, mainly because they can't afford fancy offices or ignore their investments.
A mechanical advantage device that pivots on a fulcrum to multiply force, or in startup parlance, anything you can use to do more with less. Every MBA in Silicon Valley thinks they've found a "lever" to pull, usually right before asking for $5M in seed funding. Physics teachers hate how loosely VCs use this term, but hey, at least someone's paying attention to simple machines.
Restructuring a company's capital stack—often a euphemism for 'things went poorly and we need to reset everyone's expectations and ownership.' Can range from modest adjustments to burning everything down and starting over.
Company valuation after investment capital is added, the number founders brag about while carefully omitting the 'post-money' qualifier. What your company is theoretically worth with someone else's money included.
The delicate art of figuring out how to extract money from something that users currently enjoy for free, typically resulting in a barrage of ads, paywalls, or premium subscriptions. This verb represents the moment when platforms transition from "community-building" to "shareholder-pleasing," often coinciding with users complaining that everything good gets ruined. Monetization strategies range from subtle to obnoxious, but they all share the goal of turning engagement into revenue.