Disrupting disruption with disruptive disruptions since 2010.
A chair at the table where actual company decisions get made, typically negotiated by lead investors who want control over their millions. Where strategy is debated, CEOs are fired, and founders learn they don't actually run their company alone.
Potential customers or deals that have been vetted and meet specific criteria, as opposed to raw leads. It's the difference between people who downloaded your whitepaper and people actually evaluating a purchase.
A term in VC fund agreements where once LPs get their initial investment back, GPs get an accelerated share of profits until their normal split is reached. Basically letting the manager 'catch up' to their 20% after paying back investors.
Unsolicited outreach to investors or customers who have no idea who you are and probably don't care. The digital equivalent of knocking on strangers' doors, with similar success rates.
Warrants or stock options added as sweetener to a debt deal, giving lenders upside if the company succeeds. Because apparently charging interest isn't enough—they want a piece of the action too.
Investment opportunities sourced through unique channels rather than pitch competitions and cold emails, giving VCs the illusion they've discovered something competitors haven't. Usually just means they have better interns.
Simple Agreement for Future Equity—a Y Combinator innovation that lets startups take money now and figure out the valuation later. 'Simple' is debatable; some lawyers call them 'complex convertible debt without the debt.'
Building a company with personal savings, credit cards, and stress ulcers instead of venture capital—either a badge of honor or an excuse for slow growth, depending on your exit results. It's entrepreneurship on hard mode.
The VC firm that sets the terms and does the heavy lifting in a funding round, while other investors gratefully follow along. Someone has to negotiate while everyone else free-rides.
Company valuation after investment capital is added, the number founders brag about while carefully omitting the 'post-money' qualifier. What your company is theoretically worth with someone else's money included.
An IRS-mandated appraisal of your company's common stock price, required so employees don't accidentally commit tax fraud when exercising options. It's always mysteriously lower than what you tell investors your company is worth.
The art of turning literally anything—your attention, your data, your grandmother's cookie recipe—into cold hard cash, typically by inserting ads or charging subscription fees. It's what happens when tech companies realize that 'free' products need to pay the bills somehow, usually by selling your eyeballs to advertisers. Essentially, if you're not paying for the product, someone's monetizing you.
The company valuation publicly announced or reported in the press, which may differ from the effective valuation once liquidation preferences and other terms are factored in. It's the Instagram filter for startup valuations.
Veto rights that let preferred shareholders block certain major decisions like selling the company or raising more money. Democracy in theory, oligarchy in practice.
A fund agreement clause that allows GPs to reinvest early returns back into new deals rather than distributing them to LPs, extending the fund's effective deployment capacity. A controversial provision that LPs love to scrutinize because it delays their returns.
A venture capitalist or firm that sporadically invests in startups outside their expertise or thesis, usually during hype cycles. They show up for the party, leave before cleanup, and wonder why founders don't return their calls.
The revenue and costs associated with a single customer or transaction, supposedly proving your business model works before you scale. Often the awkward math that reveals you lose money on every sale but plan to make it up in volume.
The corporate fantasy of growing a business exponentially while somehow maintaining quality, usually uttered right before everything falls apart. It's the process of increasing capacity to handle growth—or in startup speak, the thing you'll figure out later after raising millions in VC funding. In tech, it means making systems handle more users; in reality, it means discovering all the shortcuts you took when building the foundation.
The power to vote on corporate matters, typically held by common stock and sometimes special classes of preferred stock. Theoretically democratic, practically controlled by whoever wrote the term sheet.
A company that's neither thriving nor dying—generating just enough revenue to shuffle forward indefinitely but lacking the growth to succeed or the decency to fail completely. The undead of the startup ecosystem.
The hierarchical order in which different classes of investors get paid during an exit, determined by liquidation preferences from multiple funding rounds. It's a legal game of Jenga where common stockholders usually lose.
The degree to which a founder's background, skills, and experience align with the problem they're trying to solve. VCs love backing someone who's lived the pain they're addressing.
When expansion revenue from existing customers exceeds lost revenue from cancellations, the holy grail of SaaS metrics. It's losing customers but somehow making more money anyway.
Additional money invested in a portfolio company after the initial round—either because things are going great and you want more ownership, or things are terrible and you're protecting your original investment. Hope and desperation look surprisingly similar.