Disrupting disruption with disruptive disruptions since 2010.
The danger that passing on an investment or accepting certain terms sends negative messages to future investors. In VC, optics matter as much as economics—sometimes you reject money because taking it would look desperate.
What investors claim your company is worth before they invest—a number that's actually meaningless but gets thrown around in press releases. Add the investment amount to get post-money, which is what your ownership percentage is actually based on.
The speed at which a venture fund moves through its investment cycle, from raising capital to deploying it to returning capital to LPs. Faster isn't always better—ask anyone who inhaled their food and got heartburn.
Verbal commitments from investors to participate in a round that aren't legally binding, giving founders a sense of momentum that may evaporate when term sheets arrive. It's Schrödinger's capital raise.
A provision allowing limited partners to reclaim previously distributed carried interest from GPs if later losses reduce overall fund returns. The nightmare scenario keeping fund managers up at night.
Customer Acquisition Cost—how much you spend in sales and marketing to land one customer. VCs compare this to lifetime value to determine if your business model is actually viable or just an expensive hobby.
The VC's cut of investment profits, typically 20% of gains above a certain return threshold. How general partners get rich while limited partners provide the actual money—the ultimate performance fee.
An introduction to an investor or customer through a mutual connection, vastly more effective than cold outreach. The difference between your email being read and being instantly deleted by an EA.
A pejorative term for investors who swoop in during distressed situations to extract maximum value at founders' expense. The same people who call themselves 'value investors' on their websites.
The corporate fantasy of growing a business exponentially while somehow maintaining quality, usually uttered right before everything falls apart. It's the process of increasing capacity to handle growth—or in startup speak, the thing you'll figure out later after raising millions in VC funding. In tech, it means making systems handle more users; in reality, it means discovering all the shortcuts you took when building the foundation.
A financing or exit event that triggers specific contractual provisions in a term sheet, such as conversion of convertible notes or acceleration of vesting. The legal trip-wire that determines when various startup agreements activate.
The privilege granted to preferred shareholders to convert their fancy preferred stock into common stock, typically exercised when they want to sell or when common stock becomes more valuable (rare but delightful). It's a one-way ticket that investors usually only take when they're confident they're not leaving money on the table.
The VC firm that sets the terms and does the heavy lifting in a funding round, while other investors gratefully follow along. Someone has to negotiate while everyone else free-rides.
An IRS-mandated appraisal of your company's common stock price, required so employees don't accidentally commit tax fraud when exercising options. It's always mysteriously lower than what you tell investors your company is worth.
A startup valued at over $1 billion that has never undergone the reality check of going public or getting acquired. Their unicorn status exists purely in the fantasy land of private market valuations.
In startup-land, it's the art of nursing a half-baked business idea in a controlled environment with free coffee and ping-pong tables until it either hatches into a unicorn or expires quietly. Literally borrowed from the egg-warming business, because apparently founders need the same level of coddling as baby chickens. This metaphorical brooding period involves providing ideal conditions (mentorship, funding, ramen) while the startup grows its feathers.
A company that's neither thriving nor dying—generating just enough revenue to shuffle forward indefinitely but lacking the growth to succeed or the decency to fail completely. The undead of the startup ecosystem.
An experienced entrepreneur or advisor, typically older, who's seen multiple technology cycles and startup failures. They provide wisdom, pattern recognition, and constant reminders that everything has been tried before.
An operating style where founders maintain deep involvement in company details rather than delegating everything to managers. Popularized by Paul Graham as a counterpoint to conventional management wisdom that says CEOs should stay hands-off.
An entrepreneur who returns to start another company after their previous venture was acquired or failed. They're either gluttons for punishment or genuinely addicted to the startup lifestyle.
Potential customers or deals that have been vetted and meet specific criteria, as opposed to raw leads. It's the difference between people who downloaded your whitepaper and people actually evaluating a purchase.
Short for 'carried interest'—the percentage of fund profits that goes to VCs as performance compensation, typically 20%. It's why venture capitalists drive Teslas even when most of their portfolio is worthless.
Building a company with personal savings, credit cards, and stress ulcers instead of venture capital—either a badge of honor or an excuse for slow growth, depending on your exit results. It's entrepreneurship on hard mode.
The typical 10-year lifespan of a venture capital fund from raising money to returning capital to LPs, with investment happening in years 1-5 and exits in years 5-10. It's why your VC keeps asking about your exit timeline.