Disrupting disruption with disruptive disruptions since 2010.
Subsequent rounds of funding representing your startup's graduation from 'scrappy' to 'possibly overvalued' to 'we definitely raised too much money.'
Additional revenue from existing customers (upsells, cross-sells, increased usage), the metric investors worship because it supposedly indicates product value and customer satisfaction.
When existing shareholders sell their shares publicly without the company itself receiving any money—basically using the company as a cash machine.
The VC philosophy of betting on billion-dollar outcomes rather than sustainable businesses, essentially asking startups to be either spectacular failures or astronomical successes with no middle ground.
The constellation of measurements VCs obsess over (MRR, ARR, CAC, LTV, churn) that supposedly predict success but often just delay the realization that your growth is unsustainable.
Daily Active Users divided by Monthly Active Users, a metric expressing engagement where anything above 33% is considered respectable and anything below 10% is a sign of serious problems.
Raising capital because competitors are raising, creating a false sense of urgency and resulting in overvalued rounds where founders convince themselves they're winning when they're actually losing market share.
Taking investor money in tranches rather than waiting for a formal funding round close, a practice that sounds efficient but often indicates the fundraising process isn't actually complete.
Using inflated company stock as currency to acquire other companies, a strategy that's great for acquirers, terrible for shareholders, and indicative of overvaluation.
Platforms where employees and early shareholders can sell restricted private stock before IPO, giving insiders a chance to diversify while theoretically validating company valuation.