The department that turned firing into a growth opportunity.
A compensation plan that mimics stock ownership benefits without actually giving employees real equity. They get cash bonuses tied to company value increases—all the performance pressure of ownership with none of the actual ownership.
Using statistical models and historical data to forecast HR outcomes like turnover, performance, or hiring needs. It's HR pretending to be data science, with varying degrees of actual predictive power and ethical implications.
The practice of ensuring employees receive equal compensation for equal work regardless of gender, race, or other protected characteristics. What should be obvious common sense but somehow requires entire departments, audits, and legal mandates.
A manager who still does individual contributor work while managing others, essentially two jobs for slightly more than one salary. It sounds empowering but usually means you're understaffed.
An informal HR approach to quickly checking in with someone or tapping them for information or work.
The mythical pot of money your employer promises to give you after decades of service, assuming the company still exists and hasn't discovered creative ways to restructure it away. It's the old-school retirement plan that's slowly going extinct, replaced by 401(k)s that shift all the investment risk to you. Europeans still have them; Americans mostly have fond memories.
The unwritten expectations and obligations between employer and employee beyond the formal employment agreement. The real deal that nobody discusses until it's violated.
A formal document outlining performance deficiencies and required improvements, theoretically offering support but practically serving as termination paperwork. The corporate 'we need to talk' that never ends well.
A role, job title, or status within an organization; also, your strategic stance on a market, competitor, or issue (as in 'what's our position on price increases?').
A formal document outlining an employee's deficiencies and expectations for improvement—basically a 30-90 day grace period before termination.
The collection of non-salary benefits and amenities companies offer, from gym memberships to free snacks. Often used to distract from below-market compensation with ping pong tables and kombucha on tap.
A mythical perfect candidate who meets every single requirement on an impossibly specific job description. Recruiters hunt for them despite knowing they don't exist outside of HR fever dreams.
A structured approach to correcting employee behavior through escalating consequences—verbal warning, written warning, suspension, termination. The corporate equivalent of 'three strikes you're out,' but with more paperwork.
An initial employment phase, typically 30-90 days, during which both employer and employee evaluate fit with reduced job security. Corporate dating before commitment, except you're already living together.
Gradually reducing work hours or responsibilities as employees transition toward full retirement, theoretically enabling knowledge transfer. It's the professional equivalent of easing into cold water instead of diving in.
Positions that disproportionately impact organizational success, deserving extra investment in talent quality and retention. It's HR's way of admitting some jobs matter more than others, despite everyone being 'valued team members.'
When another company hires your good employees away. Considered unethical unless your company does it.
Scientific evaluation using tests to measure personality, intelligence, or job fit; supposedly objective but often validates whatever bias you already had.
The ongoing process of setting goals, monitoring progress, and documenting reasons to fire people later, usually disguised as 'development conversations.'
Accumulated time that employees can take off while still being paid, provided they don't actually use it out of fear of being perceived as uncommitted.
Systematic analysis of compensation data to identify and correct pay disparities based on protected characteristics or unjustified factors. It's what companies do after getting publicly shamed on social media for underpaying specific groups.
When salary differences between experience levels become too small, creating frustration among senior employees earning barely more than new hires.
An annual or semi-annual evaluation where managers document what they forgot about your work since last review, often contradicting the praise they gave in real-time.
A workplace environment where employees feel safe taking interpersonal risks without fear of negative consequences—the foundation for effective teams that Google's research made HR care about.