The department that turned firing into a growth opportunity.
A way to pay employees partially in ownership stake instead of cash, which sounds great until the company fails or the stock becomes worthless.
A permanently open job posting for high-turnover or high-volume positions, because why bother closing and reopening the same role every two weeks? It's the HR equivalent of leaving your porch light on indefinitely.
An affinity group for employees sharing demographics or interests, which provides community while corporations get free diversity initiatives without actually changing anything.
The carefully crafted fantasy of what makes your company a great place to work, which differs significantly from the employee value proposition (survival and a paycheck).
An annual exercise where employees fill out anonymous surveys and nothing changes, yet somehow HR uses the data to justify their existence for another year.
The benevolent (or occasionally tyrannical) entity that issues your paycheck and owns your time from 9-5. An employer is a person or organization that hires people to work for them, usually in exchange for money and the occasional pizza party as a morale booster.
Continuously recruiting for positions even if they're not currently open. It's like fishing, but with résumés and desperation.
A percentage that measures how much employees care about work, determined by surveys they fill out while questioning their life choices.