Buzzwords that make boardrooms spin and PowerPoints sing.
The act of modifying a product or service to meet specific individual preferences, or in corporate speak, charging customers extra to get exactly what they want. It's why your new car costs $10K more than the base model and why every SaaS platform has seventeen pricing tiers. The beautiful illusion that you're getting something unique when really you're just checking boxes on a dropdown menu.
When your equipment or vehicle is actually doing useful work with cargo or passengers, as opposed to running empty like your promises to get in shape. Every business wants maximum loaded miles and minimum deadheading.
A crisis so urgent it forces immediate change, inspired by an oil rig disaster where workers chose to jump into freezing water rather than burn—cheerful stuff for Monday morning all-hands meetings.
The professional way of saying 'kick them out' when firing, removing, or otherwise yeeting someone from a position of power. Popular in corporate boardrooms and political coups, it's what happens when your performance review goes spectacularly wrong. Less violent than it sounds, but equally devastating to one's career.
An easily achievable success that builds momentum and credibility, often prioritized when someone needs to look productive fast. The business equivalent of a participation trophy you give yourself.
A sales strategy where you start with a small contract to get your foot in the door, then gradually sell more services and products until you've infiltrated the entire organization. The corporate equivalent of 'give them a taste.'
Business-to-Robot, the emerging field of companies selling products and services directly to AI agents and automated systems rather than humans. Because why market to carbon-based life forms when silicon is more profitable?
A PowerPoint presentation, usually containing 47 slides when only 5 were necessary. The corporate equivalent of a bedtime story, except everyone stays awake out of fear rather than interest.
To pause discussion on a topic with the promise of returning to it later, which translates to 'let's pretend this never happened.' The corporate version of ghosting an idea.
Corporate-speak for 'unemployed but trying to sound sophisticated about it.' It's the professional euphemism that turns 'I got laid off' into something that sounds almost intentional and growth-oriented. The LinkedIn equivalent of 'it's not you, it's me' but for your career status.
The act of returning to a previous topic or decision, usually after everyone hoped it was dead and buried. Corporate speak for 'remember that thing we already discussed to death?'
A resignation notice that provides minimal notice period, typically given when an employee has already checked out mentally. The professional equivalent of ghosting your employer.
To approve a project or initiative to proceed, borrowed from traffic signals. The moment before everyone realizes they should have asked more questions.
The dangerous act of taking something as true without bothering to verify it, which is how approximately 90% of workplace disasters begin. In logic, it's a proposition you accept as a starting point; in real life, it's what makes an ass out of u and mption. Scientists call them 'working assumptions' to make their guesswork sound more legitimate.
To discontinue or phase out a product, service, or project, using beautiful imagery to describe something dying. The corporate equivalent of taking your pet to 'a farm upstate.'
To casually suggest ideas without thorough analysis, like throwing things at a wall to see what sticks. The opposite of rigorous strategic planning, yet somehow equally valued in meetings.
A product development approach where discovery and delivery work happen simultaneously on parallel tracks. A noble attempt to do research and execution at the same time that usually results in doing both poorly.
The corporate-approved term for aggressively chasing down people who don't know they need your help yet. This noble practice involves organizations extending their services beyond their usual boundaries, typically to underserved populations or reluctant customers. It's basically showing up where you weren't invited, but with good intentions and a mission statement.
The unglamorous but essential art of getting the right stuff to the right place at the right time without everything going catastrophically wrong. It's the behind-the-scenes choreography that makes modern life possible—from Amazon deliveries to military operations. Supply chain wizards who master logistics are the reason you can order toilet paper at 2 AM and have it by noon.
The dark art of slapping dollar signs on products in a way that maximizes profit while making customers feel like they're getting a deal. It involves complex strategies like psychological pricing ($9.99 instead of $10), competitive analysis, and occasionally just throwing darts at a board. Get it wrong and you're either leaving money on the table or watching customers flee to your competitors.
Corporate jargon for giving teams the tools, training, or resources they need to do their jobs—because apparently "support" wasn't fancy enough. It's particularly popular in sales contexts, where it means showering reps with content, training, and software they may or may not actually use. The term makes basic workplace support sound like a strategic initiative worthy of its own department and budget.
The impossibly long list of standards used to judge or evaluate something, usually inflated beyond all reason in job postings. Singular form is 'criterion,' but nobody uses it correctly anyway. These are the hoops you make candidates jump through before ultimately hiring your CEO's nephew.
When a company controls multiple stages of production or distribution within its supply chain, from raw materials to final sale. The corporate equivalent of growing your own vegetables, milling your own flour, and baking your own bread.
A small-scale test to demonstrate feasibility before committing full resources, or as commonly practiced, a demo that barely works but generates enough executive enthusiasm to fund a doomed full-scale project.