Buzzwords that make boardrooms spin and PowerPoints sing.
A term stolen from telecommunications to describe how busy you are, because saying "I don't want to do that" requires emotional vulnerability. The human version of a loading bar stuck at 99 percent.
Something another company did once that worked and has now become an unquestionable commandment carved in corporate stone. The adult version of "but mom, everyone else is doing it."
The final financial result, and the only line anyone in the C-suite actually reads. Every other line in the report is just decoration leading up to the moment someone scrolls to the bottom and either smiles or updates their LinkedIn.
Technology so new that adopting it will make your budget hemorrhage money while your IT department hemorrhages sanity. It's called bleeding edge because someone is always getting hurt.
Attempting something absurdly ambitious and fundamentally impossible, like trying to get everyone in accounting to agree on lunch. Used to shut down any idea that would require actual effort or imagination.
Getting people to agree with your idea, typically achieved through a combination of PowerPoint slides, free lunch, and mild intimidation. Without buy-in, your brilliant proposal is just a Google Doc that nobody starred.
To incorporate something into a plan or system from the beginning, as if you're making a cake and not just making excuses for poor planning. Usually said about features that will definitely be forgotten.
An inclusive approach that accommodates diverse viewpoints or groups, borrowed from politics. In practice, it means making things so vague that everyone can claim alignment.
Normal operations continuing despite chaos, crisis, or the fact that nothing about the current situation is remotely usual.
A crude metric measuring productivity by physical presence in the office rather than actual output. The management philosophy that equates proximity to performanc—beloved by micromanagers everywhere.
The passive-aggressive practice of secretly including someone on an email via BCC to create a witness for potential disputes. It's email's version of 'I'm telling mom' except mom doesn't know she's being told.
A crisis so urgent it forces immediate change, inspired by an oil rig disaster where workers chose to jump into freezing water rather than burn—cheerful stuff for Monday morning all-hands meetings.
Business-to-Robot, the emerging field of companies selling products and services directly to AI agents and automated systems rather than humans. Because why market to carbon-based life forms when silicon is more profitable?
Wasting time on trivial details while ignoring complex, important issues. Named after spending hours debating bike shed color instead of nuclear reactor design.
A group creativity session where everyone throws ideas at the wall to see what sticks, usually involving whiteboards and someone saying 'there are no bad ideas' right before judging all the ideas. It's the corporate world's favorite way to democratize innovation while often producing committee-designed camels. When it works, it's brilliant; when it doesn't, it's just a really expensive meeting.
The corporate equivalent of a ruler that everyone uses to measure their inadequacy or superiority. It's either a standard against which everything else is evaluated, or a computer test that proves your new laptop is 0.3% faster than last year's model. Companies love benchmarks because they provide objective data to confirm subjective decisions they've already made.
The office nickname for anyone radiating maximum crankiness, whether from PMS, lack of coffee, or just their baseline personality setting. Gender-neutral despite the name, a bitter betty can strike anywhere, anytime, turning meetings into emotional minefields. They're the human equivalent of a Monday morning.
The act of voting against someone's admission to a group or organization, historically done by dropping a black ball into a ballot box. It's the original cancel culture, giving members the power to veto new applicants with total anonymity. Today it's evolved to mean excluding or boycotting someone, usually for reasons ranging from legitimate to pettily vindictive.
When something returns to bite you in ways you didn't anticipate, usually referring to strategies, policies, or decisions that backfire spectacularly. In HR and employment, it's also an employee who left the company only to return later, often for more money. The corporate equivalent of "I told you so" in physical form.
Big Hairy Audacious Goal—an ambitious, decade-spanning objective that's supposed to inspire organizations but often just inspires confusion and burnout. Pronounced 'bee-hag' by people who enjoy making business sound like a fantasy game.
The corporate practice of copying what successful competitors do, rebranded as strategic analysis rather than admitted plagiarism.
A group discussion focused on identifying who's responsible for a failure rather than solving the actual problem. Brainstorming's evil twin where everyone points fingers instead of generating ideas.
Ideation unconstrained by practical limitations like budgets, reality, or physics. Where you pretend anything is possible before constraints murder your dreams.
Short for Besloten Vennootschap, the Dutch version of a private limited liability company that's basically the Netherlands' answer to Germany's GmbH. You'll see "BV" tagged onto company names throughout the Low Countries, signaling that shareholders' personal assets are protected from corporate debts—because the Dutch love their legal structures almost as much as their bicycles.