Disrupting disruption with disruptive disruptions since 2010.
The minimum annual return (typically 8%) that limited partners receive before general partners can claim carried interest, functioning as a hurdle rate to ensure LPs get paid first. Think of it as making the GP eat their vegetables before getting dessert.
A startup valued at over $1 billion that has never undergone the reality check of going public or getting acquired. Their unicorn status exists purely in the fantasy land of private market valuations.
A provision requiring existing investors to participate in future funding rounds or lose their special privileges. The venture capital equivalent of 'use it or lose it.'
A clause letting preferred investors double-dip by getting their liquidation preference back AND participating in the remaining proceeds with common shareholders. It's having your cake, eating it too, and taking a slice of everyone else's.
Fake stock that feels like ownership but isn't, giving employees the illusion of having skin in the game without actual legal rights. It's participation trophy capitalism.
The AARRR framework measuring Acquisition, Activation, Retention, Referral, and Revenue—the key metrics for growth-stage startups. Named because AARRR sounds like a pirate, which is somehow still funny to founders.
Veto rights that let preferred shareholders block certain major decisions like selling the company or raising more money. Democracy in theory, oligarchy in practice.
The sacred privilege granted to investors allowing them to maintain their ownership percentage in future funding rounds by ponying up more cash. It's like a VIP pass that lets you keep throwing money at a company before it becomes wildly successful or spectacularly flames out.
The lower compensation that employees accept to work at mission-driven startups or in attractive industries like gaming or entertainment. Employers exploit your dreams to underpay you.
Emergency financing raised by a struggling startup at unfavorable terms just to avoid immediate shutdown. It's the fundraising equivalent of pulling the ripcord on a failing skydive.
A funding round where the company's valuation is explicitly set and shares have a specific price—as opposed to convertible instruments where everyone kicks the valuation can down the road. Forces uncomfortable conversations about what the company is actually worth.
A funding round with so many small investors that the cap table looks like a nightclub guest list—lots of names, minimal commitment from anyone. Usually signals either a hot deal everyone wants a piece of, or a desperate founder who couldn't land a lead investor.
A punitive clause forcing existing investors to participate in future rounds or lose their special privileges—the venture capital equivalent of 'put up or shut up.' Popular after market downturns when companies need to separate real believers from fair-weather friends.
The time required for an investment fund to return its original capital to LPs through exits and distributions. It's the VC equivalent of asking 'when do I get my money back?'
The fancy business term for a proposal or offer, usually dressed up with adjectives like 'value' or 'unique' to make it sound more impressive than 'hey, wanna buy our stuff?' In startup pitch decks, the 'value proposition' is that one slide where founders explain why anyone should care about their idea, typically using a Venn diagram that doesn't quite make sense. A good proposition answers 'what's in it for me?' before the listener falls asleep.
The glossy sales document that makes every investment opportunity look like the next Amazon and every university look like Hogwarts, carefully balanced between legal obligation and marketing fantasy. In startup land, it's the formal document that transforms 'three guys in a garage with an app idea' into 'disruptive technology platform poised for exponential growth.' Every prospectus contains enough disclaimers to absolve everyone of everything while somehow still convincing you to hand over your money.
Preferred stock that gets both its money back first AND participates in remaining proceeds with common stockholders. The 'have your cake and eat it too' of liquidation preferences.
The startup mantra that romanticizes abandoning your original business plan when it becomes clear nobody wants what you're building. It's plan B through Z, pitched as strategic thinking rather than desperate flailing.
A funding round where the company valuation is explicitly set and shares are sold at a specific price per share, unlike convertible instruments that defer pricing. It's the grown-up version of fundraising, with actual valuations and everything.
Acronym for product-market fit, used by people too busy crushing it to say three whole words. It's the startup world's obsession with abbreviations meeting their obsession with the only metric that actually matters.
A theoretical timeline for when a company will stop losing money and become self-sustaining; usually a fictional document written for investors.
Special shares that get priority in liquidation, dividends, or control—essentially investor insurance against founder incompetence.
That mythical moment when your product stops being something you force people to use and they actually want it. Also known as 'the point founders finally sleep at night.'