The department that turned firing into a growth opportunity.
The number of days between when a candidate enters your pipeline and when they accept an offer, measuring recruitment efficiency. Different from 'time to fill' which starts when the requisition opens—HR loves having multiple confusing metrics.
The art of making a mediocre salary sound impressive by including things you already expected, like health insurance and the privilege of occasionally working from home. It's what recruiters mention when the actual paycheck is disappointing.
When managers refuse to let high-performing employees transfer to other departments or pursue internal opportunities, prioritizing their own team's success over organizational needs. It's kidnapping, but make it corporate.
The corporate euphemism for firing someone, borrowed from the Terminator franchise to make HR sound more badass than they actually are. Can mean to end anything incompletely, but let's be honest—in business contexts, it's the word your manager uses right before security escorts you out. Also works for killing things, which really doesn't help its workplace PR.
The partner who relocates for their significant other's job transfer or career opportunity, often sacrificing their own career in the process. Corporate speak for 'your career comes second.'
The HR euphemism for firing someone that sounds vaguely threatening, like something Arnold Schwarzenegger would say before shooting a robot. Companies use this word because apparently 'fired' sounds too honest and 'let go' makes it sound like you're releasing a butterfly into the wild. When your employment is terminated, you're technically ended, ceased, and discontinued—which is exactly how your career feels in that moment.
The nerve-wracking performance audition where hopefuls prove their worth while secretly wondering if their backup plan is still viable. Originally from sports and theater, it's that special moment when judgment is rendered before you've even shown what you can really do. The corporate world borrowed this concept and rebranded it as 'probationary period' to make it sound less brutal.
A document showing your salary plus all the benefits, hoping you'll feel rich when you see your 'total compensation' even though most of it isn't actual money. It's HR's way of saying 'you're not underpaid, look at all this health insurance we provide!'
An imaginary reservoir of qualified candidates that HR claims to maintain but suspiciously disappears when you actually need to hire someone.
The strategic approach to attracting, developing, retaining, and deploying human capital. Sounds data-driven and impressive; usually means 'we hope our good people don't leave.'
The company's noble belief that employees will move between departments, cities, and roles for development, assuming they don't have families.
A comprehensive approach to employee compensation integrating base salary, bonuses, benefits, equity, wellness programs, and non-monetary rewards. HR's way of saying 'we're paying you less than you're worth, but look at all this other stuff!'
A workplace environment where values are ignored, dysfunction is normalized, and employees are either broken or gone. Usually described as 'challenging but rewarding' by leadership.