Disrupting disruption with disruptive disruptions since 2010.
A wooden stick driven into the ground to mark territory or prop things up, or in the business world, the percentage ownership or financial commitment you have in a deal. High stakes mean high risk and high reward; low stakes mean you're testing the waters.
Simple Agreement for Future Tokens—a legal instrument for investing in future cryptocurrency tokens, for when you want equity but make it crypto.
Sequential funding rounds labeled alphabetically, each supposedly representing the company's progression from barely-viable to 'we probably need more money anyway.'
The portion of the TAM that you can realistically capture with your current product and go-to-market strategy. It's your TAM divided by 'actually achievable' and 'not pure fantasy.'
Sequential rounds of venture capital funding, each alphabetically closer to either massive success or spectacular failure.
Groups of angel investors or VCs pooling resources to make a larger investment than they could individually, because apparently teamwork makes the dream work.
Platforms where employees and early shareholders can sell restricted private stock before IPO, giving insiders a chance to diversify while theoretically validating company valuation.
The constellation of measurements VCs obsess over (MRR, ARR, CAC, LTV, churn) that supposedly predict success but often just delay the realization that your growth is unsustainable.
Subsequent rounds of funding representing your startup's graduation from 'scrappy' to 'possibly overvalued' to 'we definitely raised too much money.'
The second major funding round, typically $10-50 million, aimed at scaling a product that already has demonstrated traction. Proof that your MVP was more than just a fever dream.
The first major institutional funding round, typically $2-15 million, where professional VCs finally take your startup seriously. The moment you stop being a 'cool idea' and become a 'company with serious growth ambitions.'
A metaphor for product iteration where you build a simple prototype first, then progressively add features. It's the ideal version of MVP development that almost no one actually follows.
Subsequent funding rounds after Series A, each larger and more investor-filled than the last, until your startup becomes a 'scale-up' drowning in bureaucracy and VCs who don't use your product.
The third major funding round, usually $20M-$100M+, designed to accelerate growth and expand into new markets. When 'startup' starts sounding like 'real company' and the pressure becomes genuinely intense.
Sequential funding rounds named alphabetically—each one supposedly the 'final' round until you need Series D.
Later-stage funding rounds where the valuations get absurd and the investor meetings become increasingly surreal.
The sale of existing shares between investors, employees, or founders, rather than new share issuance. The legal way for early employees to cash out without an exit event.
The VC philosophy of betting on billion-dollar outcomes rather than sustainable businesses, essentially asking startups to be either spectacular failures or astronomical successes with no middle ground.
The cost to acquire a customer through direct sales, as opposed to marketing. Typically much higher than traditional CAC, which is why enterprise startups have 18-month sales cycles and lose their minds.
Simple Agreement for Future Equity—a legal document that converts to stock 'later,' making investors believe they're taking less risk than they are.
A legal instrument creating a right for investors to purchase equity in a future priced round at favorable terms. Y Combinator's attempt to make early-stage investing 'simple' (it's not).
A professional or personal metamorphosis where you adaptively transform yourself—shedding old habits, attitudes, or personas like a mermaid trading her tail for legs—to fit seamlessly into a new environment or role.
A funding round naming scheme that allows investors to pretend they understand what stage a company is at. Each round requires the company to promise even more revolutionary metrics.
Subsequent funding rounds for growing startups—each one supposedly easier to close than the last, yet somehow always takes longer.