Disrupting disruption with disruptive disruptions since 2010.
Software as a Service -- a business model where customers pay monthly to rent software they'll never own, like a never-ending apartment lease for your data. It's the tech industry's greatest invention: turning a one-time purchase into a lifetime of recurring payments.
The startup obsession with growing bigger, faster, and more unsustainably, as if a company were a goldfish and the market were an ocean. Everyone wants to scale, few know how, and most just end up spending more money to lose money at an impressive rate.
The first significant round of funding, where investors plant money in your startup like seeds in a garden, fully expecting that most gardens will produce nothing but weeds and regret. It's typically between $500K and $5M, which is a lot of money for a PowerPoint presentation.
The first major institutional funding round, where venture capitalists invest millions based on actual metrics instead of just vibes, which eliminates approximately 90% of startups. It's called Series A because it's the first of potentially many rounds, like academic grades but for companies.
The right to buy company shares at a set price in the future, given to employees as compensation for the salary they're not getting. They're worth millions on paper and nothing in reality, making them the participation trophies of startup compensation.
When a startup operates in secrecy to avoid competitors copying their idea, which assumes competitors would care about the idea in the first place. It's the startup equivalent of whispering at a party where nobody is listening.
The exhausting process of pitching multiple venture capital firms on Sand Hill Road in Menlo Park, often receiving similar feedback and soft rejections. It's speed dating for capital, and you're getting ghosted.
The first real money a startup receives from external investors, typically ranging from $500K to $2M, given in exchange for equity to entrepreneurs brave (or delusional) enough to think their idea will change the world. This is the stage where your pitch deck matters more than your product, and your co-founder's LinkedIn connections matter more than your revenue. Named 'seed' because most of these investments will never grow into anything, much like actual seeds.
A supplemental investment vehicle created alongside a main fund to accommodate additional capital from LPs or special investors, often for a specific deal or opportunity too large for the main fund. The VC version of ordering extra fries because one serving isn't enough.
Restructuring that gives early investors and employees liquidity without selling the company, like a pressure release valve for cap table tension. An exit without the exit.
A strategy where investors make many small bets, then heavily support only the winners in subsequent rounds. The venture capital version of throwing spaghetti at the wall, then only cooking the pieces that stuck.
Informal promises of future equity that aren't documented in legal agreements, often made to early advisors or contributors. A lawsuit waiting to happen, wrapped in a handshake.
Stock-like compensation arrangements that mimic equity ownership without actually granting shares, often used to avoid dilution or regulatory complications. All the incentive alignment with bonus legal complexity.
A literal plot of dirt prepped for seeds, or metaphorically, any environment ripe for nurturing nascent ideas—like Silicon Valley for startups or your uncle's garage for questionable business ventures. In startup parlance, it's where brilliant innovations and terrible ideas alike take root before anyone can tell which is which. The key difference from an incubator? Seedbeds are cheaper and smell more like actual dirt.
A fledgling company designed for rapid growth and scale, typically fueled by venture capital, caffeine, and the unwavering belief that this time will be different. These entrepreneurial ventures aim to disrupt industries, change the world, and achieve unicorn status—though most will pivot three times and run out of runway first. It's where innovation meets delusion in the most optimistic way possible.
Verbal commitments from investors to participate in a round that aren't legally binding, giving founders a sense of momentum that may evaporate when term sheets arrive. It's Schrödinger's capital raise.
A go-to-market strategy dependent on human sales teams to drive customer acquisition, typical in complex B2B products with long sales cycles. The opposite of letting the product sell itself.
The information conveyed to the market by investor actions, such as who leads a round or whether insiders participate in follow-ons. In startup land, subtext is text.
An investment strategy of making many small bets across countless startups, hoping a few will hit big enough to compensate for the inevitable carnage. The venture capital equivalent of buying lottery tickets in bulk.
The danger that passing on an investment or accepting certain terms sends negative messages to future investors. In VC, optics matter as much as economics—sometimes you reject money because taking it would look desperate.
A funding round with complex terms beyond simple equity purchase—such as multiple share classes, ratchets, or unusual liquidation preferences. It's what happens when lawyers earn their retainers.
The internal process VCs use to rank portfolio companies or investment opportunities from best to worst. A forced ranking system that ensures someone always gets picked last for dodgeball.
The right to invest more than your proportional share in a subsequent round, allowing early investors to increase their ownership. Pro rata's aggressive older sibling who always wants more.
A buyout mechanism where one co-founder can offer to buy out another at a specific price, and the recipient must either sell at that price or buy the offerer's shares at the same price. The nuclear option for irreconcilable founder disputes.