Where cozy means tiny and charming means needs work.
When a homeowner sells their property for less than they owe on the mortgage, which sounds quick but actually takes approximately seven hundred years of bank approvals. The only thing short about it is the seller's patience.
A hellscape for buyers where every listing gets 40 offers, homes sell for $200K over asking, and you have to write a love letter to the seller explaining why you deserve their split-level ranch. Sellers just sit back and watch the chaos.
The official measurement of how much space you're buying, generously calculated by including hallways, closets, and that weird alcove where the water heater lives. The number in the listing and the number you experience are two very different things.
The art of filling a home with fake furniture and decorative books nobody has read to trick buyers into thinking the space has a personality. It's catfishing, but for houses.
A concept from the 1990s where young people could afford a small first home before upgrading. Now it mostly exists as a fairy tale told by boomers alongside legends of affordable college and pension plans.
The value you add to a property through your own labor, tears, and increasingly creative profanity. It's free if you don't count the hospital visits, marriage counseling, and weekends you'll never get back.
When a property seller provides financing to the buyer, essentially acting as the bank and holding a note secured by the property. It's the real estate version of 'I'll spot you until payday'—except with six-figure stakes and actual paperwork.
A house built by a developer on speculation without a specific buyer lined up. Building it and hoping they will come—the real estate field of dreams.
When the property seller acts as the bank because either the buyer can't get a traditional loan or the seller wants to collect interest payments. It's basically a handshake agreement with paperwork, beloved by people who can't qualify for mortgages and sellers who enjoy playing banker.
A transaction where the property owner sells to an investor then immediately leases it back, converting ownership to rental while extracting equity. Corporate real estate's way of having your cake, selling it, then renting it back to eat it anyway.
Short for 'subject to'—acquiring a property while leaving the existing mortgage in place and making payments on behalf of the seller. It's a creative financing technique that makes attorneys nervous and investors wealthy.
A real estate hellscape where buyers compete gladiaps-style for overpriced homes, waiving inspections and offering their firstborn as closing gifts. It's when sellers can list a 900-square-foot teardown for $800K and receive 15 all-cash offers.
Someone who purchases property on behalf of another party who can't or won't reveal their identity, ranging from perfectly legal privacy plays to outright mortgage fraud. The real estate equivalent of a burner phone.
Development expenses that aren't physical construction—architectural fees, permits, insurance, financing costs. The budget line items that mysteriously balloon while making your project more expensive without anything visible to show for it.
An additional fee charged by HOAs or municipalities for specific improvements or repairs not covered by regular dues or taxes. It's the surprise bill that reminds you that common ownership comes with uncommon expenses.
Zoning rules dictating the minimum distance a building must sit from property lines, streets, or other structures, preventing neighbors from building right up to your fence line. It's mandatory personal space for properties.
The physical structure and materials of a property, as opposed to the land or location. It's what contractors care about and what investors try to look past while focusing on cash flow.
The waiting period lenders require after you acquire a property before you can refinance or apply for a cash-out loan—basically lenders' way of preventing immediate equity extraction.
Buying a property while leaving the original mortgage in place—you take the deed but not the loan, assuming the seller won't trigger the due-on-sale clause.
The brutally honest (or diplomatically evasive) comments agents collect after property showings, ranging from 'loved it!' to 'we could smell the previous owner's choices from the driveway.' It's Yelp reviews for houses, but the house can't respond.
The minimum time you must own a property or have a mortgage before certain transactions are allowed. Real estate's way of preventing you from flipping too fast.
The specific property being appraised, analyzed, or discussed, as opposed to all those comparison properties. It's like referring to the guest of honor at a party—everyone else is just there for context.
Buying property while leaving the existing mortgage in place under the original borrower's name. It's legally questionable, financially risky, and somehow still happens regularly.
A complex financing structure that acts like a lease for accounting purposes but provides tax benefits of ownership, beloved by corporations and their accountants. It's the financial engineering equivalent of having your cake while also writing off the ingredients.