STAT means now. Everything else means consult a specialist.
A bacterial infection of the skin's deeper layers that causes redness, swelling, and the kind of pain that makes you finally go to the doctor. Not to be confused with cellulite (the dimply stuff), this is the angry, spreading inflammation that happens when bacteria crash your dermis party uninvited. Left untreated, it can become serious faster than you can say "antibiotic prescription."
A medical reason why you absolutely should not take a particular drug or undergo a specific treatment—the universe's way of saying 'don't even think about it.' Ignoring these is how doctors lose licenses and patients lose lives.
A rare neurological condition where someone suddenly turns into a human statue, complete with rigid muscles and an eerie unresponsiveness that looks like someone hit the pause button on their entire body. This psychiatric phenomenon involves such extreme muscular rigidity that limbs can be positioned and will stay there, making it one of medicine's creepiest party tricks. Historically confused with death often enough to inspire fears of premature burial.
In medicine, it's the umbrella term for whatever's wrong with you that isn't immediately fatal but definitely requires attention and possibly medication. Doctors use it to sound professional when discussing your health issues, from chronic diseases to temporary ailments. It's also a contract clause that can void the whole deal if certain things don't happen, because lawyers love escape hatches.
The amount you pay at each doctor's visit on top of your insurance premiums, because apparently one payment wasn't enough. It's a reminder that healthcare costs money at every possible opportunity.
A three-nucleotide sequence in DNA or RNA that codes for a specific amino acid or tells the cellular machinery to stop translation. Think of it as the genetic alphabet's version of a three-letter word, except instead of spelling 'cat' or 'dog,' it spells 'make methionine' or 'stop making protein now.' There are 64 possible codons but only 20 amino acids, which means biology invented redundancy long before your IT department did.
The ring-shaped cartilage at the bottom of your larynx, notable for being the only complete ring of cartilage in the airway and a key landmark for emergency intubation. It's what paramedics press during cricoid pressure to prevent aspiration, a maneuver that looks like aggressive throat-choking but is actually medical science. Knowing its location separates trained professionals from enthusiastic amateurs.
The overachieving villain of the cancer world, originating in epithelial tissue and possessing an unfortunate talent for spreading to distant body parts. This invasive malignancy starts in the cells that line your organs and has wanderlust for metastasis. It's the type of growth that makes oncologists reach for their treatment protocols faster than you can say "biopsy."
Cardiopulmonary Resuscitation—the technique of manually pumping someone's heart and breathing for them when their body has decided to take an unscheduled break from living. Hollywood makes it look gentle; reality involves breaking ribs.
When your heart muscle decides to stop being a reliable pump and starts deteriorating like a neglected gym membership. This is the umbrella term for various conditions where the myocardium (heart muscle) weakens, thickens, or otherwise malfunctions, turning your cardiovascular system into that coworker who calls in sick every other Monday. It's serious business that cardiologists take very seriously indeed.
The fancy medical term for anything involving your heart and blood vessels, because apparently 'heart stuff' wasn't scientific enough. Fitness instructors love throwing this around to make jumping jacks sound more impressive, while doctors use it to describe everything from a light jog to imminent cardiac disaster. If someone says they're doing 'cardio,' this is the system they're pretending to care about.
The use of powerful chemical agents to kill rapidly dividing cancer cells, which unfortunately also means destroying some healthy cells in the collateral damage. It's the treatment that saves lives while simultaneously making patients lose their hair, their lunch, and sometimes their will to watch food commercials. Modern medicine's equivalent of fighting fire with slightly more controlled fire.
The medical procedure of threading a tube through your body's various openings and passages, often while you contemplate every life choice that led to this moment. It's the act of inserting a catheter for drainage, medication delivery, or diagnostic purposes, typically uncomfortable and occasionally traumatic. British spelling included for international indignity.
An adjective describing something situated in, around, or generally in the vicinity of the groin area. A classier way to say 'down there.'
An undesirable event or secondary consequence occurring during the course of treatment or disease. When your medical problem decides to bring friends.
A viral respiratory illness that swept the globe in 2020 and stuck around to crash parties ever since. It's basically three days of feeling like an extra from The Walking Dead, followed by gradual recovery—assuming you survive on crackers and ginger ale.
The simultaneous appearance or manifestation of two phenomena together—basically when things happen at the same time and you have to figure out if it's correlation or causation. A favorite red herring in medical research.
A heart specialist who spent extra years in medical school studying the organ everyone obsesses about anyway. They're basically the mechanic for your most important muscle, minus the oil changes.
The process of threading a thin tube into your body—usually into a vessel or organ—for diagnostic or therapeutic purposes. It sounds invasive because it is, but doctors assure you it's routine (for them).
A sneaky sexually transmitted infection caused by bacteria that often masquerades as nothing at all—many carriers don't even know they're infected. The silent troublemaker of the STI world that can cause serious complications if ignored.