Right-Sizing

Definition

A euphemism for layoffs that implies the company was the wrong size before, like a pair of pants that needs tailoring. The people being let go are apparently excess fabric. It sounds strategic instead of devastating, which is the whole point.

Example Usage

"They right-sized our department from 40 people to 12 and called it optimization. The 12 of us now do the work of 40 and call it Wednesday." - A survivor of right-sizing

Related Terms

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organizational culture

The shared values, beliefs, and behaviors that characterize how work gets done in a company. It's supposedly defined by leadership's vision statements but actually determined by what behavior gets rewarded and what gets ignored.

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rank and yank

A ruthless performance management system that ranks all employees against each other and automatically fires the bottom performers, regardless of absolute performance levels. It's corporate social Darwinism with spreadsheets.

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key person insurance

A life insurance policy taken out by a company on critical employees whose death would cause significant financial loss. Your employer literally betting on how much your demise would cost them.

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non-exempt

Employees entitled to overtime pay under the Fair Labor Standards Act, typically hourly workers. The classification that means you actually get paid for working extra hours, unlike your salaried colleagues.

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KPI

Key Performance Indicator: a number that determines your worth as a human being every quarter. The corporate equivalent of a video game score, except nobody is having fun and the prizes are just more KPIs.

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job shadowing

Following an employee around during their workday to observe and learn about their role. Like being someone's awkward, silent companion for eight hours while pretending to absorb information.

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