metastatic

Definition

Cancer's worst party trick—when tumor cells go on a malignant road trip and set up shop in new locations throughout your body. It's the medical term for 'really bad news, now distributed.'

Example Usage

The metastatic cancer had spread to three different organs.

Source: Oncology and medical terminology

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Sequela

A consequence or complication that shows up after a disease resolves—the unwelcome gift that keeps giving.

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Bolus

A single, large dose of medication given all at once, typically intravenously. The medical equivalent of ripping off a band-aid instead of peeling it slowly.

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pylori

Short for Helicobacter pylori, a sneaky spiral-shaped bacterium that colonizes your stomach lining and causes ulcers, proving that not all stomach problems are from stress and spicy food. This microscopic troublemaker was discovered in 1982, overturning decades of medical wisdom and winning its discoverers a Nobel Prize. It's the reason your doctor might prescribe antibiotics for your stomach pain instead of just telling you to relax.

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CAT Scan

Computed Axial Tomography—serial X-rays reconstructed by computer to create cross-sectional images, essentially a CT scan by its former name.

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MRI

Magnetic Resonance Imaging—using powerful magnets and radio waves to create images without radiation, perfect for hypochondriacs.

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Benign

Not harmful or cancerous, though in medicine it's the word you desperately hope to hear after a biopsy. The pathology report's way of saying 'you lucked out this time.'

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