key performance indicator (KPI)

Definition

A quantifiable metric used to evaluate success in meeting objectives. The numbers your boss obsesses over and that determine whether you get a bonus or a performance improvement plan.

Example Usage

Our primary KPIs for this quarter are customer acquisition cost and monthly recurring revenue.

Origin

Management theory from the early 20th century, formalized in business context in the 1980s-90s

Fun Fact

Companies often track so many KPIs that they become KBI (Key Bewildering Indicators), defeating the entire purpose of having 'key' metrics.

Source: Business management and performance measurement terminology

Related Terms

Intermediate

Uplift

The improvement or increase in performance metrics, usually expressed as a percentage that makes mediocre results sound impressive. A 2% uplift sounds better than 'slightly less terrible.'

💼 Corporate / Business

Beginner

authorization

The formal granting of permission that transforms "you can't do that" into "I guess you can do that now," usually involving signatures, stamps, or increasingly annoying multi-factor authentication. This bureaucratic blessing gives official sanction to actions that would otherwise be forbidden or impossible. It's the administrative magic spell that makes things legal, legitimate, and hopefully less likely to result in lawsuits.

💼 Corporate / Business

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land and expand

A sales strategy where you start with a small contract to get your foot in the door, then gradually sell more services and products until you've infiltrated the entire organization. The corporate equivalent of 'give them a taste.'

💼 Corporate / Business

Advanced

Vern Dogging

The corporate art of surveillance without subtlety, where a manager or supervisor watches you so obviously that they might as well be taking notes on a clipboard. Unlike bird-dogging, this comes with an extra helping of intimidation and the distinct feeling that someone's building a case against you.

💼 Corporate / Business

Intermediate

cost center

A department that spends money but doesn't directly generate revenue, making it perpetually vulnerable during budget cuts despite often being essential. Where accountants go to find sacrificial lambs.

💼 Corporate / Business

Beginner

proactive

The corporate buzzword meaning you're supposed to anticipate problems before they happen, rather than frantically fixing them afterward like a normal person. It's the opposite of 'reactive,' and using it in meetings makes you sound strategic even when you're just guessing about the future. Every manager wants proactive employees, preferably ones with actual psychic abilities.

💼 Corporate / Business

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