Fair Market Value

Definition

A completely made-up number that everyone pretends is scientific because an appraiser with a clipboard said so. It's "fair" the same way a casino is "fair" -- technically accurate but someone always feels robbed.

Example Usage

"The fair market value of my home is whatever the last person on my street was desperate enough to pay, plus vibes." - A hopeful seller

Related Terms

Beginner

HOA

A Homeowners Association: a neighborhood government run by retired people with too much time and a passionate opinion about your mailbox color. They will fine you for having the wrong shade of beige on your front door.

🏠 Real Estate

Advanced

Debt Service Coverage Ratio (DSCR)

Annual net income divided by annual debt payments, basically whether you're making enough money to pay your mortgage.

🏠 Real Estate

Intermediate

Quick Close

Closing on a house faster than normal, usually because someone is desperate, flush with cash, or both. It's the speed dating of real estate -- exciting, reckless, and you skip all the important conversations.

🏠 Real Estate

Beginner

distressed property

Real estate euphemism for a building that's either foreclosed, about to be foreclosed, or looks like it should be condemned. The fixer-upper's troubled cousin who really needs an intervention.

🏠 Real Estate

Intermediate

off-market

Properties available for purchase that aren't publicly listed on the MLS or advertised to the general public. These are deals found through networking, direct marketing, or knowing someone who knows someone—real estate's version of insider trading, but legal.

🏠 Real Estate

Intermediate

takeoff

In construction and real estate, the detailed process of measuring and quantifying all materials needed for a project from blueprints, basically turning drawings into shopping lists. Also known as "quantity takeoff," it's the unglamorous math that prevents contractors from discovering mid-project that they're three truckloads of concrete short. Get it wrong, and someone's explaining cost overruns to very angry people.

🏠 Real Estate

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