Counter-offer

Definition

The panicked attempt by a company to keep an employee from leaving by suddenly remembering they're worth something after they've accepted another job.

Example Usage

I gave notice and my company immediately counter-offered with a 20% raise, proving they could afford it all along.

Origin

Modern corporate negotiation, popularized in the tech boom

Fun Fact

Accepting a counter-offer usually just delays your eventual departure by 6-12 months, resentment included.

Source: Recruitment and retention practices

Related Terms

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retentivity

The ability to hold onto something like a clingy ex, whether it's information, employees, or magnetic fields after the power's turned off. In physics, it's the measure of how long a material stays magnetized; in HR, it's the metric that determines whether your company culture is a revolving door or a roach motel. Either way, it's all about not letting go.

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Stakeholder Management

The art of keeping various groups happy—executives, employees, regulators, and lawyers—usually by disappointing everyone equally.

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gig worker

An independent contractor or freelancer working on temporary, flexible arrangements rather than traditional employment. They enjoy freedom and flexibility but forfeit benefits, protections, and financial security—the great trade-off of the 21st century.

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supervision

The art of watching over someone's work closely enough to catch mistakes but not so closely that you're accused of micromanaging—a balance most managers spectacularly fail to achieve. It's corporate-speak for 'someone's checking up on you' with a professional veneer. The boss's favorite word when they want credit for your accomplishments.

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Retention

The corporate art of convincing employees not to leave, usually attempted only after they've already accepted another offer. Retention strategies include counter-offers, pizza parties, and the classic "but we're a family" speech.

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The accumulated costs and inefficiencies from poor management decisions, outdated processes, and suboptimal organizational structure. Like technical debt, but for your org chart and workflows.

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