cookie-licking

Definition

Claiming a project or territory without actually doing anything with it, like a toddler licking cookies so siblings can't have them. It's territorial pissing for professionals.

Example Usage

Dave's been cookie-licking that client account for months, blocking others from pursuing it while doing zero actual work.

Source: Corporate workplace behavior terminology

Related Terms

Beginner

alliance

A fancy term for 'we're stronger together' that appears in everything from medieval treaties to modern startup partnerships. In business, it's the diplomatic way of saying two companies are collaborating without committing to a merger, acquisition, or actually sharing anything important. Strategic alliances sound impressive in press releases but often dissolve faster than New Year's resolutions.

💼 Corporate / Business

Beginner

procedures

Formalized, documented step-by-step processes that dictate how tasks should be completed within an organization. They're supposed to ensure consistency and compliance, but often just ensure that simple tasks require seventeen approval signatures. Companies love creating procedures; employees love ignoring the ones that make no sense.

💼 Corporate / Business

Beginner

accountability

The corporate principle that someone, somewhere, should theoretically be responsible for outcomes, though determining exactly who remains mysteriously elusive during crisis moments. This obligation to answer for results and maintain accurate records sounds great in mission statements but often vanishes faster than donuts in a breakroom. It's the business world's favorite buzzword that everyone demands but few actually practice.

💼 Corporate / Business

Advanced

ButR

Business-to-Robot, the emerging field of companies selling products and services directly to AI agents and automated systems rather than humans. Because why market to carbon-based life forms when silicon is more profitable?

💼 Corporate / Business

Intermediate

battle

Corporate speak for competition, heavily dramatized to make quarterly sales goals sound like scenes from Braveheart—way cooler than saying 'we're competing like boring adults.' Comes with metaphorical ammunition, strategic positioning, and surprisingly passionate battle cries.

💼 Corporate / Business

Advanced

Domino Screw Job

A cascading revenge scenario where one betrayal triggers another in retaliation, creating a chain reaction of grievances. Named after the Baltimore Colts saga, it's essentially the Murphy's Law of vindictiveness—when screwing someone over inevitably leads to getting screwed yourself, which leads to someone else getting screwed, ad infinitum.

💼 Corporate / Business

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