cookie-licking

Definition

Claiming a project or territory without actually doing anything with it, like a toddler licking cookies so siblings can't have them. It's territorial pissing for professionals.

Example Usage

Dave's been cookie-licking that client account for months, blocking others from pursuing it while doing zero actual work.

Source: Corporate workplace behavior terminology

Related Terms

Beginner

Greenlight

To approve a project or initiative to proceed, borrowed from traffic signals. The moment before everyone realizes they should have asked more questions.

💼 Corporate / Business

Intermediate

circle the wagons

Adopting a defensive posture against external threats, inspired by pioneers who probably didn't actually do this but makes corporate defensiveness sound frontier-tough.

💼 Corporate / Business

Beginner

brainstorming

A group creativity session where everyone throws ideas at the wall to see what sticks, usually involving whiteboards and someone saying 'there are no bad ideas' right before judging all the ideas. It's the corporate world's favorite way to democratize innovation while often producing committee-designed camels. When it works, it's brilliant; when it doesn't, it's just a really expensive meeting.

💼 Corporate / Business

Beginner

incentivise

The corporate art of dangling carrots to make people do things they wouldn't ordinarily do, typically through bonuses, perks, or the promise of not being fired. It's management's favorite verb when they need results but don't want to address systemic issues. Because nothing says 'we value you' like a gift card to incentivise better performance.

💼 Corporate / Business

Beginner

strategy

A plan of action designed to achieve a specific goal, or what every executive claims to have when they're really just winging it with a PowerPoint deck. Originally a military term for winning wars, now equally applied to launching products, conquering markets, or deciding which social media platform to abandon next. The more syllables in your strategy name, the less likely anyone understands it.

💼 Corporate / Business

Advanced

Opex vs. Capex

Operating expenses versus capital expenses—the difference between renting and owning, or in corporate speak, between 'this quarter's problem' and 'future quarters' problem.' The eternal accounting debate.

💼 Corporate / Business

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