Buzzwords that make boardrooms spin and PowerPoints sing.
Approving something without actually reviewing it, like a board of directors who've completely checked out. It's due diligence for people who'd rather be golfing.
A strategic analysis framework (Value, Rarity, Inimitability, Non-substitutability) that you were supposed to learn in business school, except your professor got distracted talking about economic moats for a month straight. Now you're staring at the exam wondering why those four weeks of rambling didn't actually teach you how to use the damn thing.
A spectacularly counterproductive employee who, despite credentials and paycheck, possesses an almost supernatural ability to make every situation worse. They're the assistant who somehow turns helping into hindering, like a reverse Midas touch but for workplace productivity. If Murphy's Law were a person with a job description, this would be it.
When executives set strategy and employees execute tactics, but there's no middle management to connect them, creating a leadership void. It's organizational structure as existential crisis, where big ideas meet ground reality with nothing in between.
The art of delegating work you've been contracted to do to someone else, while maintaining plausible involvement and a comfortable margin. It's essentially corporate inception: contracts within contracts. Companies use this to claim expertise in everything while actually doing very little themselves.
The corporate buzzword for 'ability to bounce back from disasters without completely falling apart'—whether we're talking about people, organizations, or IT systems. In business-speak, it's become the aspirational quality everyone claims to have but few actually test until crisis strikes. True resilience means your company can survive anything from data breaches to market crashes, though most 'resilience strategies' are just expensive PowerPoint presentations.
A workflow requiring someone to manually transfer data between incompatible systems by literally swiveling between computers. A monument to IT departments that couldn't be bothered to build proper integrations.
A leadership style where employees are kept in the dark and fed manure, only to be surprised when expectations suddenly appear. Information hoarding disguised as a management strategy.
A business arrangement where goods are shipped to a retailer or seller who only pays after the items actually sell—basically "try before you buy" for businesses. It's the commercial equivalent of letting your friend borrow your clothes with the understanding they'll pay you if they decide to keep them. Popular in retail and logistics, it shifts inventory risk from buyer to seller in a delightfully anxiety-inducing way.
A standard or benchmark used to judge, evaluate, or make decisions about something—basically the ruler you measure things against. In tech and business, criteria are the specific requirements something must meet, like performance benchmarks or quality standards. The singular form that everyone forgets exists because "criterias" sounds so much more natural (but remains grammatically wrong).
The diplomatic way of saying something could theoretically be done without committing to whether it should be done or if anyone actually wants to do it. This adjective lives in the sweet spot between "impossible" and "confirmed," giving planners wiggle room to sound positive without making promises. When consultants say something is feasible, they mean it's technically possible given unlimited time, budget, and patience.
The verb form of the modern gig economy hustle: piecing together income from multiple sources instead of relying on one traditional job. It's freelancing, side hustles, and Etsy shops all rolled into a lifestyle choice that's equal parts liberating and financially terrifying.
In business speak, the fancy term for whatever sparked change after months of inertia—usually a crisis, a competitor's success, or a new executive's pet project. Chemistry borrowed this word to describe substances that speed up reactions without getting consumed; corporate America borrowed it to describe consultants. The thing everyone credits in hindsight for making something happen that should've happened anyway.
The corporate lawyer's favorite word for 'thing that exists,' especially when that thing is a company, LLC, or some Frankenstein corporate structure designed to optimize taxes. In database design, it's any object you're storing information about. Basically, if it exists and you can point at it (physically or conceptually), some industry professional has probably called it an entity.
The email disaster that occurs when someone replies-all to a massive distribution list, triggering a chain reaction of 'please remove me' and 'stop replying all' messages that brings email servers to their knees. It's like watching a slow-motion train wreck you can't stop.
Claiming a project or territory without actually doing anything with it, like a toddler licking cookies so siblings can't have them. It's territorial pissing for professionals.
An activity, task, or obligation that devours hours of your life while providing minimal value in return. The corporate meeting that should've been an email, but stretched into a three-hour philosophical debate about font choices.
A project management concept representing how forecast accuracy improves as you get closer to a deadline, visualized as a cone narrowing over time. It's why your six-month estimate is essentially a dart throw blindfolded.
The corporate practice of copying what successful competitors do, rebranded as strategic analysis rather than admitted plagiarism.
The frustrating chokepoint in any process where everything slows to a maddening crawl because one step can't keep up with the rest. Like that one coworker who takes three days to approve something everyone else finished in an hour, bottlenecks are where productivity goes to die. Identifying and eliminating bottlenecks is a favorite pastime of efficiency consultants who charge outrageous fees to point out the obvious.
The passive-aggressive practice of secretly including someone on an email via BCC to create a witness for potential disputes. It's email's version of 'I'm telling mom' except mom doesn't know she's being told.
When your equipment or vehicle is actually doing useful work with cargo or passengers, as opposed to running empty like your promises to get in shape. Every business wants maximum loaded miles and minimum deadheading.
The corporate sin of turning the perfectly good noun 'action' into a verb meaning to execute or complete a task. Because apparently 'doing' things is too pedestrian for the modern workplace.
A flowchart-like diagram mapping out possible decision paths and their consequences, beloved by analysts who believe organizational chaos can be tamed with rectangles and arrows.