workout

Definition

A scheduled torture session where you voluntarily subject your body to physical strain in the hopes of looking better in jeans. Can range from a light jog to an intense CrossFit session that leaves you unable to sit on the toilet for three days.

Example Usage

My workout this morning was so intense that taking the stairs now qualifies as my afternoon workout.

Source: Common fitness terminology

Related Terms

Advanced

GPP

General Physical Preparedness—the development of broad fitness attributes and work capacity that support specific training. It's the vegetables of your training diet: unsexy, often ignored, but probably what you actually need.

⚽ Sports / Fitness

Intermediate

Volume

The total amount of work performed in a workout, calculated by multiplying sets times reps times weight, turning your gym session into a word problem that would make a math teacher proud. More volume theoretically means more gains, but also more crying.

⚽ Sports / Fitness

Beginner

contractions

In the fitness world, when your muscles shorten and tighten during use, proving they're actually doing something besides just existing on your body. In the medical world, it's what pregnant people experience when their uterus is preparing to evict its tenant. Either way, it's your body's way of squeezing things really hard for a purpose.

⚽ Sports / Fitness

Intermediate

tempo run

A sustained effort at 'comfortably hard' pace—fast enough to be uncomfortable, slow enough to maintain for 20-40 minutes. The Goldilocks zone of suffering that actually improves your lactate threshold.

⚽ Sports / Fitness

Beginner

lifting

The act of repeatedly hoisting heavy objects for the express purpose of creating microscopic muscle tears that supposedly make you stronger. In gym culture, this has evolved into an entire lifestyle complete with its own vocabulary, protein shake requirements, and unspoken rules about reracking weights. Also used as a verb by people who make going to the gym their entire personality.

⚽ Sports / Fitness

Intermediate

joey

Ski slope terminology for an inexperienced skier who carves across the entire trail like they're mowing a lawn, oblivious to everyone behind them. Named after baby kangaroos for their awkward, unpredictable movements. They're the reason experienced skiers develop trust issues and defensive skiing techniques.

⚽ Sports / Fitness

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lgf

little green footballs...