WebExiquette

Definition

The unwritten rules of professional videoconference behavior—muting your mic when not speaking, ensuring no leaf blowers are running in the background, and keeping your camera pointed at your face rather than your ceiling. It's basically 'don't be that person who ruins the all-hands meeting for thirty people' condensed into a single portmanteau.

Example Usage

Chad had a leaf blower running during the earnings call, so now the entire team is begging him to learn some basic WebExiquette.

Source: Urban Dictionary (https://www.urbandictionary.com/define.php?term=WebExiquette&defid=9606487)

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Value Proposition

A fancy way of explaining why someone should give you money instead of your competitor. It's the corporate pickup line -- it sounds rehearsed, slightly desperate, and works about 10 percent of the time.

💼 Corporate / Business📣 Marketing / Advertising

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Holistic Approach

Considering the big picture instead of solving the one specific problem someone actually asked about. The corporate equivalent of going to the doctor for a headache and leaving with a complete lifestyle overhaul and a yoga mat.

💼 Corporate / Business

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eating your own dog food

Using your own company's products or services internally, forcing employees to experience the same pain points as customers. Also reveals whether your software is actually usable or hot garbage.

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expiry

The death date printed on products, contracts, and opportunities, after which they transform from valuable to worthless faster than you can say 'statute of limitations.' In business, it's the deadline that separates the procrastinators from the unemployed. That milk carton date that everyone ignores? That's expiry's less serious cousin.

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Advanced

Vern Dogging

The corporate art of surveillance without subtlety, where a manager or supervisor watches you so obviously that they might as well be taking notes on a clipboard. Unlike bird-dogging, this comes with an extra helping of intimidation and the distinct feeling that someone's building a case against you.

💼 Corporate / Business

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corporate

As a noun in business jargon, refers to anything produced by or for a corporation's internal consumption—like training videos that make you question your will to live or bonds that fund expansion plans. It's become shorthand for the soul-crushing aesthetic of beige conference rooms and stock photo diversity. When something is described as "very corporate," it's never a compliment; it means sanitized, risk-averse, and optimized for maximum inoffensiveness.

💼 Corporate / Business

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