Vaporware

Definition

A product that has been announced and marketed but doesn't actually exist yet, which in Silicon Valley is just called a pre-launch strategy. It's the tech equivalent of selling tickets to a concert before you've learned to play an instrument.

Example Usage

"We launched our vaporware at the conference to tremendous applause, which will hopefully sustain us through the eighteen months it'll take to actually build the thing we just demoed with a pre-recorded video."

Related Terms

Intermediate

marking to market

The practice of revaluing portfolio companies to reflect current fair market value rather than cost basis, theoretically providing accurate fund performance but practically involving educated guesses and wishful thinking. Quarterly existential crisis as an accounting process.

🚀 Startup / VC

Advanced

loss ratio

The percentage of a VC fund's investments that return zero, typically 50-70% despite everyone's confident pitches. The number partners don't mention at LP meetings unless forced.

🚀 Startup / VC

Intermediate

valuation cap

The maximum valuation at which a convertible note or SAFE will convert to equity—a safety net for early investors betting on you when you were nobody. The lower the cap, the more expensive your desperation was.

🚀 Startup / VC

Intermediate

commitment period

The time window (usually 3-5 years) during which a venture fund actively deploys capital into new investments, after which the GP is supposed to stop writing checks and focus on managing the existing portfolio. Think of it as the VC equivalent of last call at the bar.

🚀 Startup / VC

Beginner

Iterate

To make small, incremental improvements to something, which is a sophisticated way of saying "it's not done but we're shipping it anyway." The philosophy of iterate fast, break things has broken many things and iterated on surprisingly few.

💻 Tech / IT🚀 Startup / VC

Advanced

carve-out

Reserved portion of an acquisition's proceeds specifically allocated to employees or specific shareholders, ensuring they benefit even if the waterfall would otherwise drown them. Exit sharing mandated by negotiation or generosity.

🚀 Startup / VC

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See “Vaporware” in Corporate Speak, Gen-Z Slang, Pirate Speak, and more.

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tcfc

Too Close For Comfort...