sustainability

Definition

The corporate buzzword for "not destroying everything for future generations," now slapped on every product and mission statement regardless of actual environmental impact. It's the art of meeting present needs without compromising the future, though in practice it often means using recycled paper for reports about why we can't afford real change. Bonus points if you put it in your company values next to "innovation" and "synergy."

Example Usage

The company's new sustainability initiative involved reusable coffee cups and a 40-page glossy report printed on virgin paper.

Source: Common corporate terminology

Related Terms

Intermediate

shareholder value

The value delivered to company owners through dividends, stock price appreciation, and overall business performance. The metric that justifies every controversial business decision since the 1980s.

💼 Corporate / Business

Intermediate

linkage

A fancy corporate term for 'connection' that makes simple relationships sound more impressive in strategy presentations and consultant reports. It refers to how different things—processes, systems, incentives, or metrics—are mechanically or conceptually connected to produce outcomes, usually in ways that require extensive PowerPoint diagrams to explain. In executive meetings, establishing linkage between your project and revenue somehow makes budget requests more persuasive.

💼 Corporate / Business

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Run It Up the Flagpole

To present an idea to higher-ups and see if anyone salutes, which they won't because they're all in back-to-back meetings until 2027. A phrase that combines patriotism with the futility of middle management.

💼 Corporate / Business

Intermediate

acquisition

The corporate equivalent of Pokémon collecting, where companies buy other companies and pretend it's about "synergy" rather than eliminating competition. This process involves throwing obscene amounts of money at a target company, followed by months of "integration" that's really just figuring out whose coffee machine to keep. When tech companies do it, add a few zeros and call it "aqui-hiring."

💼 Corporate / Business

Beginner

PowerPoint

Microsoft's digital slide deck software that transforms simple ideas into 47-slide presentations with unnecessary animations. The corporate world's weapon of choice for turning 5-minute updates into hour-long meetings. Named after the futile hope that your presentation actually has a point.

💼 Corporate / Business

Intermediate

Move the Needle

To make a measurable impact, usually invoked by people who have no idea what the needle measures or where it currently sits. The needle, for the record, has never actually moved.

💼 Corporate / Business

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