restriction

Definition

The legal fine print that tells you what you can't do with your property, crushing dreams of backyard chicken coops and neon pink houses since time immemorial. These are the rules embedded in deeds, HOA bylaws, or zoning laws that limit how you can use or modify property. They're the reason you need to ask permission to build that treehouse in your own yard.

Example Usage

The property came with a restriction preventing any structures over 12 feet tall, so the medieval castle plans had to be significantly downsized.

Source: Real estate and legal terminology

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easement

A legal right allowing someone else to use part of your property for a specific purpose, like utility access or a driveway. It's basically permanent permission to trespass, enshrined in your deed.

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HOA fees

Monthly payments to a committee of bored neighbors who fine you for parking your own car in your own driveway. It's the subscription service nobody wanted, covering 'amenities' like a pool you never use and landscaping you could do yourself.

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alligator property

An investment property with carrying costs that exceed the rental income, effectively eating the owner alive month by month. Named because it takes bigger and bigger bites out of your bank account.

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setbacks

In real estate, the legally mandated buffer zone between your dream home and the street—because apparently neighbors don't trust you to build right up to the sidewalk. This zoning requirement ensures adequate spacing for utilities, pedestrian safety, and keeping your McMansion from literally looming over passing joggers. Think of it as the government's way of forcing you to have a front yard whether you want one or not.

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Move-In Ready

A listing claim meaning the house won't literally collapse when you walk through the door. The bar is on the floor, and the house has technically cleared it. Bring your own standards, because the seller already lowered theirs.

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Cap Rate

Short for capitalization rate, it's a number that tells investors whether a property will make money or just slowly drain their soul and savings. The higher the cap rate, the better the return, unless you forgot to factor in literally anything else.

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