Job Grading

Definition

The process of assigning 'levels' to positions (Junior, Senior, Principal, Distinguished, Supreme Overlord) which have virtually no correlation to actual responsibility or pay.

Example Usage

Even though we both do the same work, you're a Senior Engineer and I'm just an Engineer, which apparently justifies paying you 20% more.

Origin

Systematic compensation approach developed in the mid-20th century

Fun Fact

Companies often have 47 different job grades, none of which are clearly defined

Source: Compensation Administration Standards

Related Terms

Beginner

EAP

Employee Assistance Program—a confidential service offering counseling, legal advice, and wellness resources, theoretically showing the company cares about your mental health while spending minimal money on actual support. The corporate equivalent of thoughts and prayers.

👥 Human Resources

Beginner

Inclusion

The practice of making sure everyone feels welcome and valued at work, assuming "everyone" can navigate the 47 unwritten social rules required to survive the office kitchen. True inclusion is when the new person feels comfortable enough to take the last donut.

👥 Human Resources

Beginner

wage

The hourly pittance exchanged for your labor, calculated with mathematical precision to be just enough to keep you showing up but not enough to feel financially secure. It's the working class's version of a salary, typically paid weekly or biweekly and always subject to mysterious deductions. Unlike salary, it makes overtime possible—the only silver lining to being paid by the hour.

👥 Human Resources

Advanced

adverse action

Any employment decision that negatively affects a candidate or employee based on background check information, requiring specific legal notifications under the FCRA. It's when your past catches up with you in triplicate forms.

👥 Human Resources

Intermediate

Retention Strategy

An elaborate plan to convince employees they actually want to stay, usually involving ping-pong tables and the promise of 'unlimited PTO' that nobody actually uses.

👥 Human Resources

Beginner

terminated

The HR euphemism for firing someone that sounds vaguely threatening, like something Arnold Schwarzenegger would say before shooting a robot. Companies use this word because apparently 'fired' sounds too honest and 'let go' makes it sound like you're releasing a butterfly into the wild. When your employment is terminated, you're technically ended, ceased, and discontinued—which is exactly how your career feels in that moment.

👥 Human Resources

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