GPA

Definition

Grade Point Average -- a single number that supposedly represents four years of intellectual growth but mostly reflects your ability to choose easy professors and drop classes before the deadline. It ranges from 0.0 to 4.0, with your self-worth mysteriously following the same scale.

Example Usage

"My GPA is a 3.7, which would be impressive if you didn't know I changed my major four times to avoid organic chemistry."

Related Terms

Intermediate

academic redshirting

The practice of delaying a child's kindergarten entry by a year to give them developmental advantages over younger classmates, borrowed from athletic eligibility rules. Typically employed by affluent families seeking competitive edges in academic and social domains.

🎓 Education / Academia

Intermediate

emeritus

The academic equivalent of a luxury retirement package, where a professor gets to keep their prestigious title after officially retiring, usually with minimal actual responsibilities. It's Latin for "having served one's time," which is academia's way of saying "you can finally stop grading papers but still come to faculty meetings if you're really bored." The title lets distinguished scholars continue using university resources and office space while younger colleagues eye their parking spot.

🎓 Education / Academia

Beginner

study abroad

A program where students take classes in another country, theoretically for cross-cultural learning but often functioning as an expensive semester-long vacation with occasional lectures. Parents fund it; Instagram documents it; transcripts barely reflect it.

🎓 Education / Academia

Advanced

fermi

An obsolete scientific unit equal to one femtometer (10⁻¹⁵ meters), named after physicist Enrico Fermi because apparently scientists enjoy naming impossibly tiny measurements after their colleagues. This is the scale where you're measuring things like atomic nuclei, where the concept of "really, really small" takes on a whole new meaning. It's been largely replaced by the femtometer, but physicists still use it occasionally when they want to confuse undergraduates.

🎓 Education / Academia

Beginner

adjunct faculty

Part-time professors hired on a per-course basis with minimal benefits and no job security, essentially the gig economy workers of higher education. They teach the same courses as tenured faculty but for a fraction of the pay, making them academia's favorite cost-cutting measure.

🎓 Education / Academia

Intermediate

visiting professor

A faculty member hired on a temporary basis, either genuinely visiting from another institution or euphemistically filling a budget-friendly non-tenure-track position. It's academia's way of getting expert labor without the commitment of a permanent hire.

🎓 Education / Academia