Definition

The collective noun for professors, adjuncts, and lecturers who have dedicated their lives to knowledge and complaining about parking. They are united by their love of learning and their inability to agree on literally anything during department meetings.

Example Usage

"The faculty voted 47 to 46 to table the discussion about whether to table discussions, and then broke for coffee."

Related Terms

Intermediate

learning styles

The widely-promoted but scientifically-debunked theory that students learn better when instruction matches their preferred modality (visual, auditory, kinesthetic). Education's horoscope: personally appealing, pedagogically useless, yet immortal in faculty development workshops.

🎓 Education / Academia
Advanced

fermi

An obsolete scientific unit equal to one femtometer (10⁻¹⁵ meters), named after physicist Enrico Fermi because apparently scientists enjoy naming impossibly tiny measurements after their colleagues. This is the scale where you're measuring things like atomic nuclei, where the concept of "really, really small" takes on a whole new meaning. It's been largely replaced by the femtometer, but physicists still use it occasionally when they want to confuse undergraduates.

🎓 Education / Academia
Advanced

logos

One of Aristotle's three modes of persuasion, where you use cold, hard logic and reason to win arguments instead of emotions or credibility. It's the rhetorical strategy of choice for debaters, lawyers, and anyone who thinks facts and data should actually matter in discussions. While pathos pulls heartstrings and ethos establishes trust, logos brings the receipts.

🎓 Education / Academia
Intermediate

discourse

In academia, the formal examination and discussion of a topic through speech or writing, often involving theoretical frameworks and unnecessarily complicated terminology. It's how scholars turn simple conversations into publishable material. When someone says "let's have a discourse," they mean a serious intellectual discussion, not a chat.

🎓 Education / Academia
Beginner

enrolled

The act of officially adding your name to a list, thereby committing yourself to something you may or may not regret later. In education, it's how you sign up for classes that will drain your bank account and sanity simultaneously. The point of no return where you transition from 'thinking about it' to 'legally obligated to show up.'

🎓 Education / Academia
Beginner

teaching dinosaur

A tenured professor who refuses to update teaching methods or course content, still using yellowed lecture notes from decades ago and dismissing pedagogical innovations. They survived the academic meteor but haven't evolved with changing educational landscapes.

🎓 Education / Academia

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