Definition

The molecular instruction manual that makes you uniquely you, now hijacked by corporate types to describe a company's "core values" or "fundamental identity." When a CEO says "innovation is in our DNA," they're either talking about their commitment to disruption or desperately need a biology refresher. Unlike actual DNA, corporate DNA can apparently be changed with a rebrand and a consultant's PowerPoint.

Example Usage

"Customer obsession is part of our company's DNA," the executive announced, apparently unaware that actual DNA can't be revised quarterly.

Source: Common corporate terminology

Related Terms

Beginner

Rubber stamp

To approve something without actual review or scrutiny, just going through the motions like a bored bureaucrat at the DMV. The illusion of governance without the inconvenience of actually governing.

💼 Corporate / Business
Intermediate

sea change

A profound or fundamental transformation, often used to describe major shifts in business strategy, market conditions, or organizational culture. Shakespeare's term for change, now deployed in quarterly business reviews.

💼 Corporate / Business
Beginner

Scope creep

The gradual expansion of a project beyond its original boundaries, like a blob in a horror movie consuming everything in its path. The reason every 'quick project' takes six months.

💼 Corporate / Business
Intermediate

Uplift

The improvement or increase in performance metrics, usually expressed as a percentage that makes mediocre results sound impressive. A 2% uplift sounds better than 'slightly less terrible.'

💼 Corporate / Business
Intermediate

Move the Needle

To make a measurable impact, usually invoked by people who have no idea what the needle measures or where it currently sits. The needle, for the record, has never actually moved.

💼 Corporate / Business
Intermediate

Bake in

To incorporate something into a plan or system from the beginning, as if you're making a cake and not just making excuses for poor planning. Usually said about features that will definitely be forgotten.

💼 Corporate / Business

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