deadwood

Definition

Employees who contribute nothing but somehow haven't been fired yet, occupying desks and drawing salaries like workplace furniture. HR knows who they are; everyone knows who they are.

Example Usage

After the merger, the new CEO's first priority was clearing out the deadwood from middle management.

Source: Human resources and management terminology

Related Terms

Intermediate

exempt employee

Workers classified as exempt from overtime requirements under FLSA, typically salaried professionals who can work 60 hours and get paid for 40. The 'promotion' that actually decreases your hourly wage.

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HRIS

Human Resources Information System—software that manages employee data, payroll, benefits, and basically every detail of your employment life. The database that knows more about you than you remember about yourself.

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e-learning

Digital training delivered through computers or devices instead of in-person instruction. Allows employees to complete mandatory compliance training while simultaneously answering emails and questioning their life choices.

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disengagement

In HR contexts, the state of emotional and mental disconnection employees experience from their work, colleagues, or organization. It's what happens when people show up physically but checked out mentally months ago, doing the bare minimum while updating their LinkedIn profiles. Companies spend millions trying to measure and reverse it, usually by adding more meetings about engagement.

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Advanced

retentivity

The ability to hold onto something like a clingy ex, whether it's information, employees, or magnetic fields after the power's turned off. In physics, it's the measure of how long a material stays magnetized; in HR, it's the metric that determines whether your company culture is a revolving door or a roach motel. Either way, it's all about not letting go.

👥 Human Resources

Intermediate

off-cycle review

An unscheduled performance evaluation that either means you're getting promoted immediately or fired quickly. The suspense is the worst part.

👥 Human Resources

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