Cardio

Definition

Any exercise that raises your heart rate, which technically means running from your responsibilities counts. Gym bros avoid it like vampires avoid sunlight, while marathon runners have built their entire personality around it.

Example Usage

"I told my gym buddy I was doing cardio and he looked at me like I just confessed to a crime against muscle mass."

Related Terms

Beginner

goaltender

The designated human sacrifice positioned in front of a goal whose job is to stop projectiles with their body while their teammates skate around having fun. In hockey and soccer, they're the ones with trust issues and exceptional reflexes. Also called a goalkeeper or goalie, they're either the hero or the scapegoat, with no in-between.

⚽ Sports / Fitness

Intermediate

loaded carry

Walking while holding heavy objects in various positions (farmer's carries, suitcase carries, etc.). Simultaneously functional and humiliating.

⚽ Sports / Fitness

Intermediate

Ego Lift

The gym sin of attempting to lift weights far beyond your actual capability, prioritizing impressive numbers over proper form, safety, or sustainable progression. These lifters sacrifice technique and long-term gains on the altar of looking strong right now, often resulting in injury or that distinctive half-rep flailing. It's the fitness equivalent of buying a sports car you can't actually drive.

⚽ Sports / Fitness

Intermediate

momentum

In physics, the product of mass times velocity that explains why things in motion stay in motion—and why stopping a runaway project feels impossible. More colloquially, it's that magical force that makes everyone want to jump on the bandwagon once success starts building. Losing momentum is every athlete's and startup founder's worst nightmare.

⚽ Sports / Fitness

Intermediate

apparatus

The intimidating collection of specialized equipment and machinery that makes any professional setting look more serious than it actually is. In gymnastics, it refers to those medieval-looking contraptions like the pommel horse and parallel bars that only superhuman athletes can master. Scientists and engineers use this term to make their fancy tools sound more impressive than 'stuff we use to do our job.'

⚽ Sports / Fitness

Beginner

working weight

The actual load used for prescribed training sets, excluding warm-up sets and maximal attempts. The weight where the real work happens and excuses stop working.

⚽ Sports / Fitness

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