appraise

Definition

To slap a monetary value on something, ideally by someone qualified to do so rather than your overly optimistic uncle. This formal evaluation process determines the worth of assets, employee performance, or really anything that can be judged and assigned a number. Real estate agents love this word because it sounds more professional than 'guessing what someone will pay.'

Example Usage

The bank sent an appraiser to evaluate my house, who somehow determined that my 'vintage' 1970s bathroom decreases the property value significantly.

Source: Common business terminology

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income approach

A property valuation method based on the income stream it generates, using capitalization rates to convert annual income into present value. It's how commercial properties are valued, where buildings are essentially money-printing machines worth whatever those dollars command.

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Fixer-Upper

A home that needs so much work it should come with a hard hat and a therapist instead of keys. HGTV has convinced an entire generation that these are charming weekend projects and not financial sinkholes.

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cash on cash return

A performance metric showing the annual pre-tax cash flow divided by the total cash invested, expressed as a percentage. It's how rental property investors measure whether they're getting a decent return or just being a charity for tenants.

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per door

A valuation metric for multifamily properties calculated by dividing price by number of units, because apparently 'per unit' wasn't jargony enough. It's the real estate equivalent of price per ounce.

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notice

The formal heads-up you're legally required to give before doing something that affects someone else, like ending a lease, quitting a job, or evicting a tenant. It's usually 30, 60, or 90 days, giving just enough time for panic and apartment hunting. Without proper notice, your plans become legally questionable at best.

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mechanic's lien

A legal claim against a property by contractors or suppliers who weren't paid for work or materials. It's revenge served cold by your deadbeat seller's unpaid roofer.

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