401K

Definition

A retirement account where you give the government a loan by deferring your taxes, betting that you'll be in a lower tax bracket when you're old and useless. It's faith-based finance.

Example Usage

I maxed out my 401K contribution this year, which means I'll have almost enough to retire when I'm 92.

Source: Employee benefits and retirement planning terminology

Related Terms

Intermediate

knobstick

A derogatory term for a union-busting scab who refused to strike with their fellow workers, thereby condemning them to continue toiling. Picture the ultimate workplace traitor with a stick where their spine should be.

👥 Human Resources

Intermediate

variable pay

Compensation that fluctuates based on performance, including bonuses, commissions, and incentives rather than fixed salary. It's the carrot-and-stick approach where the carrot's size depends on whether you met your KPIs this quarter.

👥 Human Resources

Intermediate

total rewards statement

A document showing your salary plus all the benefits, hoping you'll feel rich when you see your 'total compensation' even though most of it isn't actual money. It's HR's way of saying 'you're not underpaid, look at all this health insurance we provide!'

👥 Human Resources

Intermediate

Key Talent

Employees who are either exceptionally valuable or exceptionally difficult to replace, kept happy through a combination of favors, competitive compensation, and prayers.

👥 Human Resources

Intermediate

friction

The workplace tension that occurs when personalities, processes, or priorities collide, creating organizational drag that slows everything down. In physics, it's the force that opposes motion; in business, it's what happens when sales promises something engineering can't deliver. Smart leaders try to minimize it, while others mistake it for 'healthy debate' right up until someone quits.

👥 Human Resources

Beginner

Learning and Development (L&D)

The department responsible for making employees smarter, usually with outdated online courses they completed at 1 AM on their last day of the quarter.

👥 Human Resources

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